Apology to a Leader

To G., in an effort to explain...

I believe in balance. I sometimes refer to it as harmony, or rhythm, or the yin/yang; I think of it in connection with God. The first time I started to see the tremendous connections between these concepts was when I had been playing Tetris for awhile. Did you ever play that game? This was back in the 90’s and my computer had it as part of the standard equipment. I played it so often, that I started to see everything I did in terms of bricks that I could accommodate and fit into slots to build columns.



Then Matrix came out. I think I watched that movie at least 8 times. At my house, we all did. It never failed to awe us – the idea that you could find patterns behind all actions and participate as part of the pattern. So that fit into the whole Tetris concept of bricks falling into place in their columns, and now there was also a master pattern to become part of. The insights I got from Matrix provided lots of new and interesting topics to talk about with my tutorials and my kids, and it eventually led me to the whole idea of how information travels. And that was right around the time we all heard about The Secret. Remember that? The law of universal attraction? I added that to the already abundant evidence that harmony and rhythm are what it's all about. Now there was even another dimension to it all - attraction of information as needed to keep growing. I could now see how to accommodate the bricks with better accuracy, and the patterns behind actions seemed even more discernible. I saw patterns and neat accommodation possibilities and rhythm in the traffic, at work, any time I looked out for them. Questions I found myself asking one day were answered for me the next! Was it simply because I was more aware??

Finally, I realized that I mustn’t leave out the one other crucial element in the order of things: COMMUNICATION. Of course I've always believed in that, but putting everything together, I found that I could do all sorts of things in all sorts of different ways; I could even make an agreement to swap tasks with someone else, or re-arrange the order of priorities. And I could explain and convince whenever it was necessary to get what I needed.



But wait - harmony? Rhythm?? Balance??? We were talking about Leadership, remember? Well yes, but Leadership is what holds it all together, and if others reach the same place, the power structure begins to change and leadership turns into a floating concept.



During our last class, you found it hard to believe that there wasn't an overall "leader" of the house. And I suppose I was wrong when I insisted there wasn't. I mean, technically I am the leader as I'm the breadwinner. But I don't look at it that way most of the time. It seems to me that what we have here are 4 or 5 (depending on who's home) full-time self-leaders who take over whenever required as momentary group leaders. What we do is switch around all the roles in what is sometimes a chaotic way, but which does have its order as long as we don't forget the essential ingredient: COMMUNICATION. We've become the most flexible family you can imagine but we find it necessary to adapt as no one person is around enough to be the constant leader.



I'm not saying it's a perfect arrangement. What I am saying is that we all agree that it's the best way for us. The important point - the interesting aspect of it - is the harmony, the balance, the building of confidence that evolves from our close communication. We all know that any one of us can take the lead when necessary. I know I made it sound invincible - perfect - and of course it's not, but it is possible and it’s challenging to put into action.



As for the idea being extended to work situations, I wasn't trying to imply that there is no use for leaders at work. On the contrary - it's to be desired! In fact, I get so excited thinking about all the possibilities, that I probably sounded irrational to you. But look at this: if we work in a way where everyone is encouraged to find out how much they can do alone and who they can get to help them when they need it, then our leaders will be freer to observe it all and straighten out the kinks they see with the full approval and appreciation of their people. And when their people can work out their own kinks without constant intervention by the leader, the leader will be even freer, maybe to help in another area where things are not running so smoothly or with such balance and harmony. Leaders can keep creating and modifying their roles as needed and so can their people. The key is to have good communication at all times. Because when that breaks down, you get problems full in the face.



At any rate, I hope this has cleared up your doubts and concerns; I hope you can see what I mean since in fact, I consider you a leader like that. You seem to lead your people in that kind of way and in all our conversations I've always felt that each of us was speaking on equal terms when there was an idea on the table. On the other side of the coin, even though I'm your English teacher and might technically be considered the "leader" in that sense, you are your own leader and you take your learning from me as you need it - you don't wait for me to give it. So you do lead yourself! I always say that if all students were like that, teachers would have a much more exciting job! People who know what they want and what they need and look for ways to get it keep the "leaders" on their toes and each task becomes something bigger than it was when it was just the leader trying to motivate or force their people to tow the line.



Okay, I'll stop for now. It's not complete. There are so many other things I could add as examples of what I mean. But for fear of going over the deep end again, I’ll stop.