Where have I gone?

The truth is, I don't know where I've gone.  I know where I am, but somehow I also know I've gone somewhere that I can't seem to find.  That's ridiculous of course.  If I know who I am and where I am, then of course that's where I've gone.  But no... it's something else. 
I did leave though.  I left the place I was living in and started driving and ended up at the place I'm at, but I don't know if this is where I'll stay or not.  I have so many options, it's hard to say which one will follow.  Can I maybe take all the alternatives and do them one by one?  That's what I'm hoping for.
Meanwhile, I came here with Samo and he has to do something, though he's not sure what.  So tomorrow we shall go out into the lovely cold but clear and shiny sunshine and find what it is we need to do.
I want to explain better, but now I don't seem able to just let it all out the way I once did in my blogs.  And it's not like I have a million readers, so I shouldn't worry about saying more than I should.  Who would know?? 
Well, one thing I could start with is that I've been telling myself all this is a delayed reaction to being widowed.  I spent over two years just not letting myself dwell too much on that and continuing my life as it was going.  Then suddenly, last summer, I started feeling that I needed a change.  It would come upon me suddenly that I was doing the same ol' same ol' every day, every week... At work, I felt that having to accept and follow all the new administrative demands, weekly or even daily procedural modifications, frustrating deficiencies in the communication hierarchy, and constant irrational deadlines was not fun.  Instead of getting to teach classes and learn from my students, I was at the computer, filling out questionnaires, writing e-mails, filling in grade sheets, pay sheets, receipt information, and such, not to mention having to check my mail several times a day so I wouldn't miss some new task or obligation required of me.  I took it in stride though, kept up with all my own learning activities in art and languages, but it wasn't enough.  When you don't enjoy your work, no matter what you do in your off-time, it won't change the fact that you don't enjoy your work... by November, I was taking two different language courses, going to art classes 3 or even 4 times a week, spending more time on the computer than ever, and teaching fewer classes.  All the teachers were worried about losing hours, but I found I just didn't care.  And that's when I knew I had to leave.  I had to let the other teachers have a chance to have more hours and just go do something else myself. 
This is not what I want to say.  This has all been thought out and said before.
There's something else.  But it's just beyond my reach.  All I have at the moment are questions!
Maybe tomorrow I'll find enough of an answer to be able to spell it out for you.