A word about inspiration - and bathroom walls

I promised myself I would blog today.  I've been trying to finish the bathroom because I wanted to post pictures, but the truth is that I haven't really finished... so I feel I shouldn't put anything up... but maybe I can treat this like a preview... you know?  Because I want to put something up.  I'm afraid I'll lose my momentum if I let too much time go by between posts.  Look what happened to me before!

Okay, the truth is that I was incredibly depressed - in spite of  trying everything I knew to pull myself out of it - going to the U.S. to start over - just for awhile - coming back and determining to get back into art, writing, languages, yet not doing much in any of those areas, then a trip to Europe, another bout of trying to psyche myself up for art, languages, writing, and failing again, a trip to the U.S. with the whole family to bring home the fact that I am blessed beyond the limits of the concept to have such a loving group of people to call family, and then...

A new year.  THIS new year, and the undeniable fact that it was the house, MY house, that was depressing me so.  And of course I knew it all along; I might have been trying to escape it and blame my depression on other things, but deep down I knew it was the house, so finally, finally I decided to try to do something about it... because I know that you have to BE where you ARE; if you don't like it, you can go somewhere else, but if you stay, it's with the understanding that you will make "where you are" where you want to be.

Over the past two years I have left, come back, left again for a shorter term, come back, each time hoping that NOW I would be able to get back into a good rhythm, and each time failing bacause I couldn't face the fact that I would have to make a HUGE effort to make where I AM where I actually want to BE.

Until this new year... after 2 complete years of living in limbo, a vicious circle of half-hearted hope and borderline depression... where life went on, where I tried to make myself and others believe everything was hunky-dory, but where I knew it wasn't.  I didn't write, I didn't paint, I didn't study anything... I just worked and came home and watched movies, and googled everything I could think of, and tried out routines of this or that, but I couldn't make anything stick.  I lacked inspiration.

And now it's starting to come back - maybe it's not quite the jumping-out-of-bed-in-the-morning thrill I used to feel each day, but it's true inspiration, nourishingly satisfying, the kind that motivates me to do more, try harder, be greater.

So when Carm said she was going to take on the LR, I thought it was only fair to take on the bathroom, and that triggered other things, like starting to study German again, for real, going back to art class, for real, blogging again, for real! Things started to balance out once again, finally, for real!

I know I should feel angry or frustrated or at least regretful about having lost my way for so long, but I don't; instead I feel happily relieved, as if all of that was inevitably leading me to what has become this HERE and NOW.  I needed to get that lost in order to appreciate what I've found.

Enough with the pilosophizing...
     
      Here are
            the photos I took
                  of the bathroom walls...
                        freshly painted
                  with 2 coats of sheer
            lighter-than-white green.    

I took two pictures in the morning, and the other at night with artificial lighting.  I guess that makes a difference in how the color of the walls will be perceived!  But trust me, they are all the same color.