It's been a while since the last post. That's for sure! But I had one of those revealing moments this morning and the only place I felt I could write about it is here, so here I am!
The setting was my kitchen; I was intent on making granola. I'd been wanting to make some for over a week, but only this morning - this windy, sunny solitary morning - did I feel ready to actually make it. It was going along fine, and I had loaded up three cookie sheets with the yummy blend of oats, nuts, coconut oil, brown sugar, honey and even a bit of maple syrup. While I cut up fruit, washed up dishes and put a pot of coffee on, I stirred the concoction periodically, breathing in the delicious scent each time I opened the oven door.
When it was ready, I pulled out the cookie sheets and tasted it with relish - only to find that the taste was boringly oat-y. There wasn't even a hint of sweetness in there, and you do need a bit of sweetness if you want to enjoy the crunch of your granola... otherwise you might as well be a horse.
In desperation, I looked around and spied a jar of cinnamon and sugar I had mixed up one day to use on French toast. I dusted my three batches of granola sparingly and then not so sparingly with that mixture and stirred it around. Then I poured a bit in a small dish to taste, and NO! I had overdone it! Now it was too sweet. I hate too-sweet granola - especially when the sweetness is sugar-based as opposed to honey or molasses. Now what could I do?
For a moment I considered throwing it all out, but I knew I couldn't do that. As I contemplated my options, I noticed that the sugar, since I'd put it on after the granola was roasted, had not really mixed in completely with the other ingredients. Quickly I pulled out a fine-holed colander and began to sift the granola over the cookie sheets, and sure enough, a fine rain of sugar began to fall. It took a while, but I finally got most of the excess out, and then I tasted the result and - Ecstasy! It was delicious!
As I looked at all the sugary remnants of oats, nuts and sesame seeds that had also made it through the holes of the colander and were now lying on the cookie sheets, I realized I would have to do something with all of that - it was at least a cup and a half worth of sweet grain debris. I got out a nice little jar, poured the mixture into it and thought to myself, I'll use this in my next batch of muffins.
Then it really hit me! I was my grandmother! I was using her brain to get myself out of the mess I'd made by improvising with the quantities of ingredients I'd thrown into my granola.
I washed up all the cookie sheets, the several bowls I'd used to sift, stir, re-sift and pour the granola, feeling like my other grandmother as I chided myself over the extra work I was now having to do for not having done things right the first time.
And finally, as I hung up my towels and the potholders, I felt my mother in me, the one who always puts things back in the place they should be.
So I realized that I carry them all with me - my two grandmothers, my mother, Car, my kids, good friends and family... and when I stop to think about it, I'm kind of like my own granola - the finished product of all the ingredients they've put into me to make me who I am! The blend might change, sometimes sweeter, sometimes nuttier, but the ingredients are all there mixed in with love.
Remember how in the 60s and 70s (I'm a product of the latter decade), we were all out trying to find ourselves? Well guess what? I've finally found myself!
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