Monday, March 31, 2014

Done... or not

The month is getting away from me!  It's hard for me to believe that the bathroom may actually be DONE!  I always attach a tag to that, like, ...I think, or ....Almost, or....Maybe.  I love when I go in there and see the way the purple curtain and purple towels go so well together and how the yellow shower curtain makes the purple details look even better!  Anto doesn't agree with my feelings on this, but he's the one who installed the new sink and towel racks, etc.  Lu says the sink's too high for me, but I like it like that.  Sam loves the purple and yellow color-scheme, and he's the one who suggested putting the sink cabinet on blocks, as it was too low for the plumbing fixtures to fit underneath (and those fixtures are not movable).
So, I as I said, the bathroom is just about finished.  I mean, it's finished, but I keep seeing little things that I still want to do... Perhaps the best way to describe the situation is to say it's a work in progress...

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

A word about inspiration - and bathroom walls

I promised myself I would blog today.  I've been trying to finish the bathroom because I wanted to post pictures, but the truth is that I haven't really finished... so I feel I shouldn't put anything up... but maybe I can treat this like a preview... you know?  Because I want to put something up.  I'm afraid I'll lose my momentum if I let too much time go by between posts.  Look what happened to me before!

Okay, the truth is that I was incredibly depressed - in spite of  trying everything I knew to pull myself out of it - going to the U.S. to start over - just for awhile - coming back and determining to get back into art, writing, languages, yet not doing much in any of those areas, then a trip to Europe, another bout of trying to psyche myself up for art, languages, writing, and failing again, a trip to the U.S. with the whole family to bring home the fact that I am blessed beyond the limits of the concept to have such a loving group of people to call family, and then...

A new year.  THIS new year, and the undeniable fact that it was the house, MY house, that was depressing me so.  And of course I knew it all along; I might have been trying to escape it and blame my depression on other things, but deep down I knew it was the house, so finally, finally I decided to try to do something about it... because I know that you have to BE where you ARE; if you don't like it, you can go somewhere else, but if you stay, it's with the understanding that you will make "where you are" where you want to be.

Over the past two years I have left, come back, left again for a shorter term, come back, each time hoping that NOW I would be able to get back into a good rhythm, and each time failing bacause I couldn't face the fact that I would have to make a HUGE effort to make where I AM where I actually want to BE.

Until this new year... after 2 complete years of living in limbo, a vicious circle of half-hearted hope and borderline depression... where life went on, where I tried to make myself and others believe everything was hunky-dory, but where I knew it wasn't.  I didn't write, I didn't paint, I didn't study anything... I just worked and came home and watched movies, and googled everything I could think of, and tried out routines of this or that, but I couldn't make anything stick.  I lacked inspiration.

And now it's starting to come back - maybe it's not quite the jumping-out-of-bed-in-the-morning thrill I used to feel each day, but it's true inspiration, nourishingly satisfying, the kind that motivates me to do more, try harder, be greater.

So when Carm said she was going to take on the LR, I thought it was only fair to take on the bathroom, and that triggered other things, like starting to study German again, for real, going back to art class, for real, blogging again, for real! Things started to balance out once again, finally, for real!

I know I should feel angry or frustrated or at least regretful about having lost my way for so long, but I don't; instead I feel happily relieved, as if all of that was inevitably leading me to what has become this HERE and NOW.  I needed to get that lost in order to appreciate what I've found.

Enough with the pilosophizing...
      Here are
            the photos I took
                  of the bathroom walls...
                        freshly painted
                  with 2 coats of sheer
            lighter-than-white green.    

I took two pictures in the morning, and the other at night with artificial lighting.  I guess that makes a difference in how the color of the walls will be perceived!  But trust me, they are all the same color.


Saturday, February 22, 2014

The painters and their astounding results!!

So the painting went on last weekend.  Now the LR has been painted, as well as the front hall.  Furniture will still need to be put in but I'm putting that off for a while, as there are other expenses to consider this next month.  We still have another month to pay for the furniture we selected and even if I end up not getting it, I will only be out 100 pesos for the "hold".
Meanwhile, this weekend is my room and the bathroom.  I'll call this Part I because I'm sure there will be several parts to each of these makeovers.  Today I'm clearing out stuff and moving it to the study until I decide what to do with it.  I was going to do the study first, but the problem is the clutter in my own bedroom.  I think it's really affecting my mental state!!!  If I want to have a clear mind, I need to clear out this room!!!  Okay, I'm going to start.  Box 1 is already halfway filled.  But do check out the painting party from last weekend.  Carm and her friends really got the job done!!! Anto ended up doing a great job on the door, although I never thought he'd need to take it off the hinges to paint it!  EVERYTHING LOOKS SO GREAT!  THANKS TO ALL WHO PARTICIPATED!!!

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Behind the vines

Well, another two weeks has gone by.  I haven't done much, but instead of berating myself about it, I'm just going to accept the fact that I don't know how to really go about this.  I sure wish someone would give me some pointers here.  A game plan would be ideal... I did bring some boxes home, and they are in the study, and the study itself is emptier than it used to be, which is excellent... in fact, I realized today  that I can actually now use it for the place to do yoga, or for painting, or meditation... It heartens me to think like that...  I mean I start getting ideas like putting down the perfect yoga mat, or setting up a place to work and putting out all my painting supplies.... Guess I'd better get back up there and fill up those last boxes.  Then I'll just stack them and have them ready to give to one of the neighbors who likes all the used books, videos, clothes, etc. Back to work.  Wish me luck.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

two weeks later...

... I'm not doing things in order.  I seem to have a HUGE problem with getting my own bedroom in order, much less the study!  HOWEVER, and thanks to helping hands from my kids and others, some things have gotten done that immensely improve the house.  For example, I bought 4 new planter pots and Anto transplanted the large plants that were choking in their too-small pots; they look like they feel much better in their new homes.

The kitchen is coming along with its scrubbed and shining appliances and new dishrack.  We ordered a really neat comfortable-as-anything LR set that will be ready to be picked up in about 6 weeks, during which time Carm thinks she can organize a painting party so that the whole downstairs area will be ready for new furniture (in the hopes that after the LR, we'll be able to do the DR).

I cleaned out the utility area, and the guys took all the stuff to be recycled or trashed.  Then they re-roofed the outside storeroom and cleaned it out, making the space usable for bikes, garden equipment, etc.

Meanwhile, back to my task for today... MY OWN BEDROOM.  I think if I can just get that done, I'll be able to move on to the study.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

2014 - Will I blog more than twice this year?

Well, it wasn't one of my New Year's Resolutions to blog more, but considering what my only NY Resolution is, blogging just might make it more doable. Because my resolution is to make this year The Year of the House; that's right, a colossal home-improvement project. Daunting! Just contemplating the scope of It makes me feel like I need a cigarette, and I don't smoke anymore... As for the glass of wine I'm drinking, it's doing nothing to stop the terror of the mere IDEA of it.  After all, I am only one person...

But wait!  I am one person and I can do what I can do!  OPTIMISM TO THE RESCUE!

According to Lu, my son, you can totally fix up your house if you take it a room at a time.  One week per room. In one week, you can clean out the junk, paint the walls, and rearrange / complement your furniture, or can you?  In my case, maybe not.  But 2 weeks sounds feasible!  On a 2-week-per-room schedule it will take 28 weeks to fix up the inside of the house, plus another 8 weeks for the outside (facade, patios, garden, garage), coming to a grand total of 36 weeks - 9 months, the time span from conception to birth.  

How appropriate!  How symbolic!  But just in case, let's even give it another 10 weeks for unexpected setbacks.  Let's say that my home-improvement project will be a done deal by Guadalupe Day (Dec. 12th), 2014.  Can I live with that deadline?  I'll tell you in 2 weeks, after the first room is done... or not.

Assuming that I am indeed going to do this, I would say that the room most urgently in need of improvement would be the downstairs bathroom.  It's just got to go.  However, in view of the fact that this is January, the month when money is at its scarcest, and in the belief that hurdles are best surmounted if you start with the easiest, it might be better all the way around if I let the first room be the study, which would only involve cleaning out the junk, rearranging the furniture, cleaning and painting the walls, ceiling, and window frame.  I should be able to do that in 2 weeks with minimum cost, right?  Wish me luck!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Midnight Shake-Up or the Earth Rocks!

Visiting friends in Mexico City, I got to experience one of those moments where you find yourself at the fork in the road on a cosmic level.  It's been awhile since I've felt the earth move under my feet so to speak, although, as it happened, I was in bed at the time, just having drifted off to sleep... it was a real shaker, the earthquake I mean.  The walls shuddered, the floor rumbled, the atmosphere spun with energy.  Inside I was reeling with all the movement, wondering if I should get up, wondering if a pillow over my head would protect me, trying to feel one with the phenomenon and totally in awe of the forces involved.
When it was over, I wasn't sure what to do.  Manuel got up and went to check things in the apt., making sure there were no gas leaks, checking the electricity connections, phoning... I stayed in my allotted room, listening and feeling each subtle shift in the return to stability.  And then I fell asleep.
This morning it's lovely outside, streets washed clean after yesterday's rain, birds chirping their daily songs, a peaceful Sunday morning.  Beautiful! Amazing! I'm feeling deeply grateful and happy to be here, on this new day, Father's Day in fact!   Happy Father's Day to my Dad, and to all dads.