Dealing with Failure - or how to go from down-in-the-dumps to flying high in less than 24 hours

It began with the huge fiasco of my performance during my TOEIC course group. The grammar point was Gerunds vs. Infinitives, and who was I to think I could take on the question of “Why?”
Only the teacher, of course. And evidently, a teacher who doesn’t know where to draw the line, because I actually invited them to ask! And is there really an effective answer to the question of why certain verbs must be followed by an infinitive and certain others must be followed by a gerund? Why couldn’t I simply have stated – as my wise German teacher had stated that very morning in German class – that there’s no rule about why, you just have to memorize and deliver.
No way! That would totally frustrate them (thought I)! No, I had to prove their questions were answerable, right? But in my misbegotten attempt, the only thing I accomplished was to make the whole question of infinitives and gerunds so impossible to fathom, that they probably felt like killing me and then themselves! As my students filed out of the classroom when I adjourned the class (a couple of minutes early because by that time I was a mass of frazzled nerves), I knew they were farther away than ever of having any kind of understanding at all about infinitives and gerunds.

Luckily, that was my last class of the day.

Quickly I gathered my things together and hurried to get away unnoticed, such was my shame. But once I was in my car, the blow to my self-esteem really started to kick in (no pun intended). Here’s a question for you:
How do you react when you’ve really blundered?
a) Wallow in it?
b) Try to escape from it?
c) Try to deal with your feelings and get over it?
d) Look for sympathy and relief?
e) Try to make amends?

Now, don’t think you have to choose one alternative; in my case it was more of a process of going through all of the above. First, I wallowed in self-blame and reproach. It quickly reached the point where I had to talk myself down or have a heart attack. But I wasn’t ready to listen to myself, so I turned on the stereo, where I had left Divine Idylle, the latest (?) album of Vanessa Paradis. It was on the last song, which is my absolute favorite (and by the way, if you can translate any part of it, please feel free to do so in the comments section! I don’t know what it means, but I know it must be something deceptively simple, yet deep and sublime!): The song is "Jackadi" and you can see the lyrics here: es.mp3lyrics.org/SVRC]

And yet, even though the song charmed and soothed me, when it was over, I was back in the throes of my self-struggle. Now I tried to take on my feelings and make myself get over the whole thing. Yet that is easier said than done, and even though I was telling myself that I knew I was being ridiculous, and that it was really not that big a deal, I couldn’t seem to accept it and move on.

By that time I was home. And I found myself acting in complete contradiction to how I usually act - i.e., pass through the living room, greeting anyone who happens to be there watching TV, put my things on the chair under the cuckoo clock in the dining room, head into the kitchen where I check out what’s on the stovetop, then continue on to Car’s room to say hi and tell him I’m famished, whereupon he tells me exactly what he’s cooked that day, whereupon I cut him off at the draw so I won't have to listen to how I’m to prepare my plate, what toppings or garnishes I should add (and exactly how much of each), and how many seconds I should heat it up in the microwave! WHEW! I then proceed to wash up and eat, and I assure you, the way Car cooks, I enjoy every bite of my meal. If anyone’s around, I sit with them to eat; but if not (usually everyone has finished by the time I get home), I’m perfectly content to fix my plate (load up would be an apt expression), take it to the living room and eat while watching a movie on TV.

But on this day, I simply could not deal with anyone or any food because I still hadn’t come to grips with my grand fiasco in class! So, I decided to go upstairs immediately and turn on the computer. My intention was to get some sympathy and sure enough, I saw CLo online and promptly made use of alternative (d) by confessing my guilt to her. She of course, talked me up, and then I saw IRS online, and mothers ALWAYS know the right thing to say, so soon, I was feeling good enough to recognize my hunger. Also, by then, I had devised a plan to fulfill alternative (e). I now knew how I could rectify the situation!

Below you can see my solution:

E-mail to my class
Subject: gerunds and infinitives

Hi everyone,
After yesterday’s class, I felt like that guy in the movie we started watching – Elizabethtown… the guy who begins by saying, “there’s a big difference between a failure and a fiasco.” I felt like a true FIASCO!!
However, in hopes of rectifying the situation, I am sending you both a link to one of my favorite online English resources and an attachment of a good explanation of the grammar point yesterday. The attachment is taken from the webpage listed above, but I urge you to check out the webpage yourself and try any of the exercises you think you could benefit from.
Meanwhile, hope everyone has a wonderful day and see you in class!
Best regards,
minshap

The next day, I was flying on a natural high all day! I felt that I’d vindicated myself. I felt reborn! In each of my morning classes, I was at my super best, as both teacher and teacheé (because I firmly believe that teaching is absolutely always a give-and-take situation. It’s inevitable. When you spend your day exchanging ideas and thoughts with people about almost anything you or they can imagine, you both come away from the experience with something new to think about in terms of both the language in particular and communication in general).

When it was finally time for my group class (the others are individual one-on-one classes), the students arrived with smiles on their faces. They’d received my e-mail and obviously forgiven me. We were all in a great mood and they worked hard and they did very well on the practices, and I even taught them “Down by the old mill stream” complete with gestures. By the second try, all I had to do was act it out, and they sang it! (these kinds of things work great as a way to pause to re-energize during a grueling grammar and stressful listening review).