Intercultural mix-ups

The thing is, I am intensely intrigued by this whole idea of intercultural experience. When you look at it, we're basically talking about having an impact in the evolution of culture and that means generalized global evolution of humanity!!! Which is a pretty cosmic idea, when you think about it! So I look at myself, I look at my kids, but then I think, WAIT! Let's go back... because I realize that if I look at my grandparents, and their parents, well, talk about interculturalizing and going global!! And I think of my grandmother telling us to "cut off the lights"! How that cracked us up (she was from Russia; is that how she envisioned the act of turning off the light??)

Then I remember at the beginning of my life in Mexico (D.F. at the time), when I was living with my MIL, learning Spanish through a dictionary and telenovelas (Muchacha Italiana Viene a Casarse and Pacto de Amor)... how, one day, when she saw that I was bummed out, she asked me what had happened and I said, "... es que Car está encabronado conmigo." She didn't even bat an eyelash! Wonderful woman. (though she must have mentioned something to her son about explaining to his lady about unacceptable language, because he later told me that there were certain ways of expressing things that I really shouldn't use around most people...)

And you know, I never got it about "usted". I took advantage of the fact that people would indulge me and let me address them as "tu". It was YEARS before I really consciously tried to maintain a conversation in the polite mode with anyone. Even today, I immediately try to get onto a "tu" level...

Sometimes I wonder if sooner or later that whole usted thing will go the way of thee and thou... but then will it happen with the French and their Vous, or with the Germans and their Sie....? I don't know, but I think it's interesting to note that because of so much inter-country gadding about, all of our languages, customs, traditions, and even our basic ideas about life are rubbing off on those who are just trying to stay in one place and have an uncomplicated existence. We're all affected by it. So we go back and forth, up and down on the yes/no, love/hate, global/save-our-culture seesaw of conclusions and of course we're always right no matter which side we're on.

So sometimes I can't wait for the peso to merge with the dollar and for Spanish to merge into English, and, as step one: for Spanish to be more relaxed, with people meeting each other for the first time and saying - Hola, como estás? (asking a direct question to me so I don't end up looking around to see who they are referring to... and with no upside-down question mark at the beginning in the written version).

I see all this happening in my daily life, where, at work, people are really laid back and the e-mails flow without a lot of usted-ishness and double punctuation. And English is so all-around, that I can go whole days without speaking more than a few lines of Spanish!!

But then, something'll happen and I'll be back on the other side of the coin, treasuring how people defer to each other and how nice it is to be able to keep your distance while being polite at the same time (¡!) and how, when you're reading, you know it's a question from the beginning because that upside down question mark points it out. So then I staunchly defend the Cemita against the burger... or at least the Bufalo against the McDonald's burger... And I write a poem or song to myself in Spanish just for the delicious melody of the language...

When I was growing up, there was alway the "assimilation" question... (I'm not going to explain it, but anyone who's been through it knows what I'm talking about...) Should we? How much would be okay? Why were we so cautious? Was it because we were trying to protect our customs and traditions? Was it fear of the unknown? Was it unwillingness to change, wanting the comfort of having predictable lives and a comfortable routine? Was it the desire to be in control?

Today, in a completely different set of circumstances, I still find myself needing and wanting to assimilate, and yet, secretly rejoicing in being different... Wherever we go, people inevitably ask us where we're from - we're such a strange-looking and even stranger-acting family. Car always answers: "Soy un ciudadano del mundo."
I simply tell people - with a very straight face: "La luna."

Wrong Information

OOPS! Just realized I gave give out some wrong information! Our school is going to be starting with some intercultural events, and I mentioned the big Blogger Meetup as a possibility, but I said it was scheduled for October, when in fact it's just around the corner! I wish I had read it right the first time (and unfortunately, haven't gotten back to reading about it in quite awhile), but either way, I won't be able to be there, much as I'd like to since it sounds so interestingly neat! All these people --Mexican and non-Mexican-but-living-in-Mexico-for-one-reason-or-another -- getting together for a meet-up on Isla Mujeres... the perfect place - though can it accommodate all the influx, I wonder?? Guess it's a lot more modern today than last time I was there in '78 - CAN THAT BE RIGHT??? Has it really been 30 years? We must have gone there at least once when our kids were young... didn't we?

Going to Isla Mujeres was something we did in the natural course of events when we lived in Cancun in '78, working and getting to know each other (and getting pregnant with fned)... before there were hotels in the hotel zone (well there were 3) and when the Convention Center was this mostly empty construction with a few places opening up (I wonder if Tucan Tar is still there, where we once played music...) or Agusto's Pizzas, where the young guy who managed it for Agusto (and was later replaced by Car) had a pet Tiger!! Cancun, where we lived on the outskirts near the highway to Puerto Morelos in a sort of "shanty town", which reminded me of the times in 19th-century US when lots of people in search of work just set up house haphazardly in order to be part of the railway construction underway, that's how it was... all these families coming in and setting up house so they could work doing all the building around Cancun... and we were the "lucky" ones with non-hard labor jobs... but we still came home bushed because working in the recently inaugurated though sparsely populated Hotel Zone meant working from 7:00 a.m. to midnight and beyond... that was how you made money on the tourism that was just getting started.

Is Visusa (travel agency) still there? That was the first place I worked, but only for about a month. I also taught English, and worked as a babysitter At that time, I remember how I taunted Car for acting like a jealous macho when he predicted that the Ice Cream Parlor Owner who asked me to babysit his kids would try to seduce me... that was, until the day said ICPO suddenly came home from work early (his wife was a doctor in the clinic and usually got home before he did), went into his room, and then called me for something. So I left his two little girls coloring in their coloring books, and went in, and there he was in his underwear, looking at me with sad, pleading eyes! I couldn't believe it! I stood there in the doorway, frozen to the spot, having no idea what to do or say, but wondering if he had any idea how BAD his timing was? His darling daughters right down the hall, his wife coming home for lunch! How could he??? I mumbled something about how now that he was home, I was going to leave and walked out, never to return.

Luckily, the next day Car finally convinced Agusto to let a female work in the Pizzaría so I was soon working again in a whole other scenario. But one morning, after working all night at Agusto's, then cleaning up, making the journey back home and walking into our rented room as the sky began to lighten, I found a note stuffed between the windowframe and screen near our bed. It was from the ICPO, saying he was sorry, he hadn't meant to frighten me off. Wouldn't I consider coming back to work for them?
And of course Car STILL HOLDS THAT "I TOLD YOU SO" OVER MY HEAD whenever we disagree in our opinions of someone's character...

Now that I think about it, maybe that was my first intercultural blooper! I mean, how is it that I absolutely did not see that coming??
Okay, hope the blogger meetup includes some intercultural bonding...

Getting back to it

Just when I had come to the conclusion that blogging is not for me, I get a push from fned. Did she do it on purpose, knowing how I tick? I'll have to think on that one. I have been reading other blogs lately, but haven't found anything I want to blog about myself. The tomato garden is completely enclosed and turned over... I'm just waiting for the rainy season to begin before I actually plant, as it is so dry at the moment, and watering is not really a good option, what with having to buy pipas of water which somehow seems to disappear faster and faster from the cistern; a tank-truck (pipa) of water used to last us 3 weeks, but now it's more like 10 days to two weeks. We've been wondering if we're getting less than we're paying for (as in the case of gas and gasoline in some places) or if our cistern has seepage.

I do have lots of thoughts going around in my mind, but I just looked at the clock and it's 2:44 and my alarm is set to wake up in 2 hours... maybe I'll blog about sleep habits... but not now. I gotta get to bed!

My Dreams are Back!

Oh it's so wonderful! I have begun to sleep-dream again... technically I suppose I've never stopped sleep-dreaming but for many years I haven't been able to remember them. I used to have the most elaborate, extensive, enlightening dreams. I remember waking up almost every morning to tell Car what I'd dreamt the night before. Then suddenly, inexplicably, they STOPPED! It was like the 'Nothing' in "The Neverending Story". Sometimes I'd be able to remember a snippet of a dream, a wisp of something or other, but never enough to hang onto. It nagged and nagged at the back of my mind - why can't I remember my dreams anymore? I tried all sorts of things, like keeping my eyes shut when I first awoke and trying to visualize what I'd dreamt, or keeping a pencil and pad handy to write them down if I woke up suddenly in the middle of the night, or drinking té de tila or some other relaxing tea before going to sleep. But nothing worked. And then, suddenly, a few nights ago, I had one dream after another and I REMEMBERED THEM! I remembered them well! I went on and on to Car about what I'd dreamt and I was completely amazed! Dreams have such significance; I've always known that, which is why it was so sad to lose touch with them. Of course they are only significant to the dreamer but that's the whole point! You can easily figure out what the dream was telling you (or sometimes not so easily, which only makes it more awesome when you finally do figure out a section).
Anyway, after that night, I've dreamt almost every night and been able to remember most of the dreams. It's so neat! I'm so thankful to be able to dream and remember my dreams!

Tomato update

Well, I used the post-hole-digger and made two deep holes and sank a heavy 4x4 in each. Then I pushed in all the earth I'd pulled out and started netting chicken wire around my soon-to-be garden. Naturally, I then hit:
Problem 1 - the posts are not steady enough!!! Car says I have to put cement around them and I don't want to.... am thinking on that.
Problem 2 - No gate! How am I sposed to get in and out? For the time being, I left one side open and I think I'm going to wrap the chicken wire (which we have plenty of) around a big barrel that I can then move back and forth, while the dogs won't be able to move it.
Okay, I'm off to look for cherry tomato seeds and some soil nutrients. It's getting exciting!

Reflections on Life (the five things...)

Okay, I was tagged by Fned and have to answer the following questions, so: here are the things in their categories, and I added one of my own that seems relevant:

5 things I wanted my kids to know when they were little:

1) Smile and the world smiles with you
2) You can't always get what you want, so concentrate on getting what you need
3) Trust your mother!
4) Tell the truth and you'll always be believed; lie once, and you'll always be suspected
5) All the things my parents taught me (see below)!

Five things I want my kids to practice when they're older (which they are!):


1) That you make your own life so make it good
2) That you have to respect yourself, and that implies respecting others and respecting the environment
3) That you make love true by believing in it
4) That you're just fooling yourself if you go against your conscience
5) That you gotta give your best, accept your mistakes and learn something from each experience

Five things I want my kids to know before I die (hope they already do!):

1) Guys, I love you to death
2) Make sure you know enough English to be able to read and understand my stuff
3) Remember the good times and don't dwell on the bad
4) Whatever you decide to do in life, do it for me too!
5) When you find yourself a partner, be the best partner you can be to them

Five things I hope they will have learned before they die:

1) That it wasn't just about them; they knew how to negotiate
2) That whatever they decided to do, they loved doing it first, and the money came later
3) When they had an opportunity to do a mitzvah, they didn't pass it up!
4) That going through life with a partner put real meaning in their journey
5) That having a child around to teach and learn from was all part of the deal


FIVE THINGS OUT OF THE TREASUREBOX OF LEARNING MY PARENTS OPENED FOR ME:

1) If you lie to those you love, you will have to earn their trust all over again (and it ain't easy)
2) Don't cut off your nose to spite your face (holding grudges, chip on the shoulder, etc.)
3) If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all (gossip, making someone feel bad)
4) You know you've got a fine mind, so there's no excuse for not doing good (in school; in work)
5) You can't have your cake and eat it too (learn to compromise/negotiate)

Meanwhile, I don't know who I'm sposed to be tagging, so I'll just invite everyone (the nonbloggers) to comment with their own answers to any of these categories! As for any bloggers who happen to see this blog, CONSIDER YOURSELVES TAGGED!

WEEKENDING... best of the best

So I'm just wondering what the best weekend is for everyone. I love looking forward to the weekend, even when I have nothing planned, or when I have too much to do, or when the weather's not good... I just love weekending. Weekending at home is nice for most weekends, though a sudden trip somewhere is always exciting. This weekend I really want to start my tomato garden! Wish me luck. I'm outta here!