If at first you don't succeed...

... Try, try again! Isn't that how the saying goes? So, yesterday, I spent so long on my drawing for Sam, and I was so proud of it when it was done, and he seemed to like it although he did tactfully mention a couple of flaws with it, which I myself had also noticed. I told him that in general I felt good about it though, and I had no more time to dedicate to it, as I had to go interpret at the conference so we left it at that, and I thought that was the end of it.
But later, I returned from the conference, and, in the course of the day, asked CLo if she'd seen the drawing I gave Sam, and when she said no, I wondered why he hadn't shown it to her, but I went and got it and showed it to her.


She oooohed and aaaahed over it and basically stroked my ego. But later still, I asked Anto what he thought and he was brutal in his criticism. The neck was too short, the bottom was too wide, the curve was too-curved, and there was no shadow, or light... WOW!! Suddenly I was embarrassed, that I'd given it to Sam as a gift! And since Sam agreed with all his views - though hadn't wanted to hurt my feelings by saying so earlier - I decided then and there to try to fix it up. I took back the drawing and worked on it for awhile. Then showed the results to the critics. Anto continued to see fault with it, and we sat together looking at the real guitar, and my drawing. He pointed out what he meant, and I saw that he was right. So ONCE AGAIN, I started erasing, and re-shaping... Finally, I finished it, to my satisfaction, and showed it to CLo and to Sam, who both thought it was muuuuuuch better. But I still wanted to see Anto's reaction, and had to wait until today since he was out late last night.
I wish I had a picture of his face when he saw it! His eyebrows went up, his eyes got wide, his mouth made an "oh" and he said, "WOW"! He liked it...


Okay, it's true, I erased so much, that I practically ruined the paper, but ended up using chalk to cover the marks and that had the added advantage of providing the shadow effect!...
So check 'em out: BEFORE and AFTER

How to stave off the screaming meemees

Have you ever been stuck in a place and not been able to move from there, and thought about all the things you could be doing at that moment if you didn't have to be stuck there? That's what I call a situation that gives you the screaming meemees. And that's the kind of situation I'm in right now! Here I am at a conference where I was hired to interpret. All the participants are working on entering their results in English and Spanish into various computers. They don't need my services for that, but I have to remain here in case they do need some help in some way. So I'm going bananas, wishing I had brought my German book so I could catch up on the exercises I still haven't done, or brought the book I'm about to start (Arráncame la Vida) so I could subtly get in the first chapter, keeping my book hidden on my lap under the desk where I'm sitting. But then, my partner said, "Well, if you can't stand just sitting back and relaxing, you can always use the computer." AND IT'S TRUE!!!! THERE'S A COMPUTER RIGHT HERE!! AND IT HAS INTERNET!! So here you have me blogging away, staving off the screaming meemees and hoping to come up with something good to blog about.
Okay, I'll tell you about this morning. It's Sam's b'day you know. He's now 16 years old! Unfortunately, we're broke, so I didn't get him a gift (though I'm hoping to use my last change money to get him a moka cake on the way home from here), but at midnight last night, I realized that I could draw him something! Yes indeed! So I got up at 6, made some coffee, fed the dogs, got my drawing pad, in preparation to draw - um, draw WHAT???? Oh no! What to draw??? Luckily, my coffee was super hot and a deliciously sweet (it was instant so I'd put some brown sugar in it; otherwise I can't stand instant coffee) so I started walking around the silent downstairs floor of the house, sipping on that hot coffee as I glided through the semidarkness, looking for something I wanted to sit down and draw for Sam. That's how I came upon my guitar standing in the corner of my bedroom. It looked absolutely perfect - it's position, the shadowy spirituality of it! Could I capture any of that? How exciting, just to try! I sat down on my bed with my drawing board and paper, my drawing pencil and my trusty eraser. It took me almost 2 hours, but they were two of the most satisfactory hours I've ever spent, and the best thing of all was that I heard Sam himself coming downstairs just as I was doing the final shading and signing. He liked his gift and I liked that lovely merging of self and emerging shape on paper that transports me from the mundane to the sublime!
Oh isn't this perfect! The participants are finishing with their files, and I'm finishing up here! Catch you later with a posting of the photo of the drawing I did for Sam (and maybe the cake too!).

Sunrise and Rainbow

You know how they say, "things came to a head when..." ? Well, that's what I'm going to begin with as I tell you this story because it's got a lot of symbolic twists and turns that I don't want to leave out. However, I will try to make it as coherent as possible.
Things came to a head a couple of weeks ago, when I took my painting to be framed. I had it in the car, and suddenly a carpenter's shop appeared, and there was a parking space right there, so I stopped and asked and made the deal and left my painting with him. But let's go back through it in slow motion. I stopped the car, got out and there he was, coming out of his shop. Olive-skinned and beautiful, a young but complete man, with a muscled but not too-muscled, body, a vitality that was apparent in his stance, brilliant green eyes that immediately slit into emerald jewels when he greeted me with a dazzling smile that included even white teeth and a dimple at the right corner of his mouth. He was completely natural, not playing games or acting, yet he had the kind of beauty that you drink in with your eyes. I could appreciate that; and yet, when I left him my painting, I knew it wasn't only because of his physical attributes, but rather his whole way of being, the way he made the deal, which was very honest and economical, the way he showed me other work of his upon request, which proved to me that he knew what he was doing, the respectful way he handled my work as he took it from the trunk of my car.
So I drove away, thinking that I had made a good deal and telling Car in my head to calm down - everything I had just witnessed and thought was simply an objective realization.
Two weeks later, some women teachers at school were talking about beautiful men, and I mentioned the carpenter. I heard myself telling them and thought maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. They might be thinking I was on the prowl... but no, it was just that his whole beauty - inner and outer - had impressed me.
Then, last weekend, I was at the Popo with friends, and I heard myself talking about Car - quoting him on something - just as if he were still here - and I wondered how it sounded to them. Did I sound too light, too blasé, as if I didn't care that he'd died? Is that how the teachers thought of me because I'd mentioned the beauty of a carpenter?
But the thing is, I know Car's gone. I don't think about him or pine for him, or find it hard to get on with my life, or any of that. I go to sleep at night and fling my arm out, knowing he won't be there at the the tips of my fingers, and that one poignant moment is beautiful; it's a lovely sadness; it's memory!! I need that! I like that! It's the moment that makes it possible for me to fall asleep a moment later with a sigh of contentment and a smile on my face. Because those moments make up for all the moments that I don't think about him or feel sad or lost or anything.
And this goes beyond just feelings. Yesterday, I was doing an art assignment which was to draw a face from memory. I knew I shouldn't try to draw his, because it's very hard to pin it down in my mind's eye... you know how they say you can't recall the face of a loved one who died... But I wanted to defy that belief, so I started to draw his face. When I finished, I was amazed. I hadn't drawn his face, but the one I drew strongly resembled Anto's face! And I thought to myself, "how comforting to know that I wasn't too far off! Here's proof that he lives on through his kids!" It made me extremely happy, but I closed my notebook before anyone could see it, because I didn't want them to ruin the mood with an opinion that might contradict what I'd just seen.
So all of the above was just to give some background to what happened this morning.
This morning, I got to take Sam to school. When we got in the car, it was pitch black outside. I settled in with my coffee, my purse, my sunglasses. Sam snorted, "What are you bringing your sunglasses for? It's still dark!" "I know," I answered, "but the sun rises around the time I drop you off and sometimes, it hits you right in the eyes during the drive home."
Sure enough, the sky was beginning to lighten by the time I drove away from his school. Twenty minutes later, as I made the turn off the highway into the entrance of our tiny town, I saw the sun in my rearview mirror. Two thoughts hit me simultaneously. The first was the insignificant observation that the sun is at my back on the way home, so I didn't need my sunglasses after all; the second was the tremendous, knock-the-breath-out-of-you realization that Car was behind this sunrise, which was the most indescribable shade of yellow - somewhere between sunflower egg-yolk and baby blanket pastel, its brilliant rays slashing across the sky, breaking apart in places to accommodate patches of blue and stark white clouds; a stunning display that lit up the whole horizon brighter than a 500+ watt stage-light. As I looked and looked at it in the rearview mirror, driving in second gear, unable to take my eyes away for more than a fraction of a second at a time for as long as it was visible, I saw his smile, I saw/felt his eyes and his smile, and my eyes were full of the whole vision - sunrise and Car - (along with some spontaneous tears of an emotion that has no name) and then, I realized I had to turn again, and I wouldn't have that view anymore, and I didn't want to stop seeing that sun-filled sky, with his face full of benevolent knowledge behind it.
I took the turn, and lo and behold, there was a rainbow outside my window! It was as if he were telling me, "See there? Sunshine or rain, I'm always just around the corner". The rainbow accompanied me up until the final turn into the road that leads up to my house, whereupon it slowly faded away as rainbows do...

Picnic on the Popo

Usually, I'm pretty much a homebody. I go to work, and I come home and I don't want to leave again. Usually, I'm a weekend shut-in. I like hanging out around my house and hate having to go anywhere. I just want to be home. But ever since I started those painting classes (a month ago) it seems that I have less and less time to be at home. My classes are two nights a week and each class is two hours long. I also accepted another teaching job which is supposedly only one night a week, but that means one night less that I get to stay home after my day job. And the last few weekends have been full of activities that normally don't come up, but the kinds of things you just can't say no to... sooooo, last Saturday, I was looking forward to a complete weekend at home without social interruptions for the first time in almost a month. And then the phone rang...

It turned out to be an old friend who was inviting me to drive up with their family and another family, to the Popocateptl Volcano and spend the day hiking and picnicking... They wanted to show off their VW Touareg 4-wheel-drive, and they insisted I come with them in that vehicle so as not to slow down the pace by following them in my trusty Eurovan camper or in Anto's combi camper... The Touareg only seats 5, and three seats were already occupied by Arto, Soco and Mosi, so that meant there was only room for Samo and me - which worked out fine, as the others had plans anyway...

Talk about wild rides!!! By the end of the trip up I was sure my bones had been re-arranged inside my body! Maybe those kinds of vehicles will climb anything, but only the driver feels that kind of sureness; I gotta remember to think twice next time before I say yes to going along for the ride!!! However, who am I to complain, when the place we arrived at was absolutely paradisiacal! What surprised me most was my own metamorphosis once we were there. I was straining at the leash, so to speak, wanting Arto to park somewhere so that I could get out of the vehicle and BE there! As soon as he finally did stop, I jumped out and started walking rapidly toward the sound of the water.

The others took long minutes to get out, survey the surroundings, discuss the options, but I was already trying to find a way to get down to the swollen gurgling stream that ran at the bottom of the ledge where we had parked.

They tried to call me back, but I was already out of earshot, so they ended up following me - those that dared - and we went down rocks and slopes and got to the water and took pictures galore...

There were all sorts of wild mushrooms growing along the banks - some with amazing colors!

At one point, Samo crossed over to the other side of the stream and I got him on the way back!

The stream grew in size but it became harder to find a way to follow it, and anyway, the rain - which had been a constant mistiness up until then, was turning into quite a heavy drizzle that made picture-taking risky, so we gave into the others above who were calling us back.

We got in the vehicles (two identical Touaregs except for the colors) and went up higher until we came to the midpoint of the volcano, where one can drive no further. There we stopped and, while the men unloaded the picnic stuff, we women and kids enjoyed a sneak quesadilla - how good they taste in the mountain air and grilled over a wood fire! And the women who made them and served them to us were absolutely gorgeous!!! I asked permission to take their pics, just so I would have a souvenir of those smiles!

Meanwhile, the men were busy setting out all the food they'd brought, which included at least 7 different cheeses, 3 or 4 different types of bread, salami, canadian bacon, turkey, olives, lots of wine, and grapes and apples to munch on... They'd found a good place among the picnic sites scattered along the side of the Park, which include benches, tables and a tile roof over your head, and just as they finished getting everything picnicky perfect and popped the cork of the first bottle, the rest of us surreptitiously finished our quesadillas and appeared to partake in this delicious smorgasbord!

We ate slowly, savoring all the sights, smells, and tastes, enjoying a last glass of wine all around as we waited out the rain. As its soft pitter-patter abated, we got back into the cars to drive over to a huge mountain meadow, where people stroll, hike, horseback ride, and eat...
Soon we heard the rippling of yet another gorging mountain stream...

We followed it as it twisted and turned, taking advantage of great picture moments, like this:

and the river gradually widened until we rounded a curve and there was the waterfall,

cascading down and spraying off a fine mist.... lovely, lovely...

Simply awesome!

There we took lots of pictures and stayed until we had drunk our fill of the beauty of Nature. Then it was time to walk back, stopping here and there for one last glimpse.

... or for a momentous pose!

or to highlight the colors and hues...

Though finally we did have to say good-bye and get into those 4-wheel-drives, and jiggle-joggle our way down the mountainside... and since by this time, the wine had made the drivers less cautious, there were quite a few "extreme sport" moments!!!

All's well that ends well, however, and we did make it home in one piece, and got an excellent night's sleep, and yesterday, as I was walking along the streets of the city looking for a building I needed to enter, I noticed that my legs hurt - and it dawned on me that all that climbing and romping around on the mountainside had taken its toll!!!

No matter! I'm ready for more of that any time you say!

ART - being its own reward

Can you believe it? I finally started taking an art class... it happened so coincidentally, so spur-of-the-momentishly. I was walking down the street in the small town of Cholula and heard some lovely music so I walked toward it. Suddenly I happened upon a storefront that was wide open and who should be sitting in the middle of the space but a whittler! Now I've always been interested in whittling, so I stopped to watch him and also to listen to the music as it was reaching its peak. Naturally, my eyes wandered around the place and it was full of paintings of all sorts. Eventually I looked up at the Marque of the entrance and saw the sign over the door: "Artes Plásticas", "clases individuales". So I asked. The man said he works one on one with anyone who feels that they want to paint/draw. His method is not to lecture and drill, but to sit the person down with the necessary materials and put them to work painting/drawing the project of their choice. "Do you want to paint?" He asked me. "Do you really want to?" YES, I said. "Okay, that's all I need to hear. If you really want to do it, then you will do it, and I'll help you!" There and then we made a schedule for my classes and I made the decision for the type of painting I would do - a landscape in pastels.
My first class was choosing the landscape and getting started. Each class is two hours long and there are two classes per week. It took me three classes to bring my first work to conclusion... what do you think?



I had just finished my painting when some people I know organized a drawing session with a live model. They invited me and I jumped at the chance. That was the most awesome experience I have had in a looooong time! I cannot describe the powerful thrill of drawing the human body as you are looking at it. I felt as though I'd been transported to another reality where my brain was almost disconnected and I was all eyes and hand as the sketch came to life. I'm not saying the result deserves a place in a gallery or a museum or any kind of public recognition, but still, I feel so good about the drawings I did that night. So here is one of them: what do you think?