Promise Muffins - a way to end procrastination?

This morning, I got up realizing we had no bread. However, we had all the makings for some hearty oat 'n' almond muffins. So, I microwaved some leftover coffee and got to work... (that's the last time I do that, even if it means I have to waste coffee; it was absolutely vile the second time around). Anyway, as I was putting my muffins together, I wondered what I would call them. I like my concoctions to have a fitting name before I put them on the table! Two weekends ago, my sons had gone to bed not speaking to each other, so I got up and made Peace Muffins. They liked them of course (who wouldn't? They had chocolate chips!), but more importantly they made up. As soon as they knew they were eating peace muffins, they couldn't be angry with each other anymore.
So this morning, with each turn of the spoon around the mixing dish, I thought of all the things we had said we were going to do today, and I realized that what I was making here were Promise Muffins.

They may look like ordinary muffins, but if you eat one, you're committed!!



And the muffins were great! We each had two. With cream cheese! Delicious. But then, I really started to look at the promises I was faced with for the day!

For instance, I had said I would get that avocado tree planted. But I also had to get a translation done. But I also had all those videos lying around waiting to be put back on the shelf in their new order... but what about lunch? I had said I would cook today... and what about preparation for classes tomorrow? I needed to do some paperwork on that!

Well, the muffins must have been full of their own promises to me, because here's the recap:

I got to work on the translation and finished my morning cuota.

Then I went out and dug that hole,


and by the time I was finished, Anto and Sam were more than willing to help me bring the tree over, cut off the plastic bucket, make sure the hole was big enough...





and transplant it into the ground!


We watered it



and coaxed it into standing pretty, making a nice bed of earth around it.


It's raining now, a nice, soft rain... hope the dear thing likes its new home and grows big and fruitful. It's a double tree - sprouted out of two seeds I put together in the earth. And both of those avocados the seeds came from were outstanding - which of course is why I saved the seeds and planted them.
Then I took a much-needed shower and started on lunch....we had macaroni and cheese with three cheeses and a bit of butter. The mac n'cheese was good, but also good were the deviled eggs on the side - with chile piquín instead of paprika! And of course there was lentil soup but who had room for that after the macaroni and the deviled eggs?
Then I got to work on those videos... and got the VHS ones done. Now all I have left to organize are the DVDs... (sigh!)
Came back to the translation to work some more and get my afternoon cuota made, started this blog, and now I'll end this for a bit. Gotta go get my stuff ready for school tomorrow. I forgot about my last promise - get to bed by 11:30. That's always hard for me to do on a Sunday night. It's 9:00 now...
Okay, finished with my school stuff, and am posting this now: 10:45!
So maybe the muffins really helped me stop procrastinating... for this weekend anyway! But the question is, will I really go to bed now? A good movie is waiting to be watched now that I've finally got everything done!

Excerpt from a Saturday morning chat

Last weekend, I was chatting with None Other. We chatted about the day-to-day, about work, about the weekend ahead, about the week behind, about our kids, about our ideas, and then, when we were about to say good-bye, I dared bring up the following:
min dice:
so you wanna hear something strange?
Stace dice:
yes, what's up
min dice:
I was thinking about putting it in a blog, but I don't want to go through all that kind of writing so soon after the last one!!!
min dice:
but it was interesting too...
stace dice:
i'm all ears.
min dice:
This morning I got up and it was cold, so I put on Car's zip-up sweatshirt, which I keep hung over the chair near my bed... just cause I like to see it there... but today it was cold, so I put it on...
min dice:
immediately I felt like he was with me - it made me feel so good, but I knew it wouldn't last, so at the same time I started to feel sad... I asked him to please be with me today...
min dice:
just then, there was a tapping on the outer gate (people here tap their metal keys against the grate to announce their arrival)
min dice:
so I looked out and it was the gas-guy... you know we buy our gas in tanks - gas for the house...
min dice:
so I went out and he said he thought we might need a tank and we actually did! I was glad he was there, but I knew he was going to ask about Car...
min dice:
then he did ask, and when I told him, these tears just came right out of my eyes... I couldn't believe it... I guess because I felt that he had really gotten to know Car, and when his face expressed sorrow, it was real sorrow...
min dice:
anyway, I got hold of myself, but what was so neat was that right away we got to know each other... he told me he would come around every other saturday to see if we need gas...
min dice:
which is very nice... cause gas trucks come by all the time, but Car always only bought with this guy... but I was rarely around to do the transaction since their agreement was on Thursdays.
min dice:
In fact, he said he had only come by this morn, because he came on Thurs but no one answered...
stace dice:
that's so incredible - Car WAS really with you
min dice:
so in the end, I felt that Car was really with me!
min dice:
EXACTLY!
stace dice:
oh min just cut and paste (or whatever you do!) and this is your blog. you wrote it so perfectly!
min dice:
really?
stace dice:
oh YES
stace dice:
it's so real, just exactly as you felt it
min dice:
well maybe...
stace dice:
i mean, if you want to share. i just love the way you wrote it - words right out of your mouth
stace dice:
i totally believe in those things
stace dice:
i'm glad you keep his sweatshirt nearby.
min dice:
oh good! me too! But I thought it might sound morose or something.
stace dice:
and i love the story with the gas guy. it made ME feel better!
min dice:
oh good!
min dice:
so do you really feel his loss?
min dice:
that's the thing, I feel like a lot of people never really knew him, so they can't really feel his loss personally...
stace dice:
yes, even though i don't think i knew him that well, certainly not in the everday sense, i feel like i knew him through you. does that make sense?
min dice:
yeah... it does...
stace dice:
and i feel like i knew your relationship, even tho i'm not even around!
stace dice:
so, it makes me sad, too
stace dice:
i guess what i'm trying to say is that i do feel your loss
min dice:
but the thing about feeling someone's loss... be careful when you say that.
stace dice:
oh, i know i don't feel a fraction of what YOU feel.
min dice:
because you don't really feel MY loss.. you just feel it for me because you imagine yourself and how it would feel for you, which would probably feel totally different!
stace dice:
exactly
stace dice:
i feel the loss of "min and car"
min dice:
OH THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO SAY IT!
min dice:
what a loss that is!!!
stace dice:
amen, sister
min dice:
but Min's still here, so I guess he's kinda still here too, since he's part of me...
stace dice:
that's just what i was going to say min is still here and there's a lot more to come for you!!!!
min dice:
anyway, it's been a good chat, thanks sister mine, and catch ya later - I'm determined to finish with that whole video library cataloging...
min dice:
during translation breaks!
stace dice:
good luck and talk to you soon.

So I did finish cataloging... and the weekend went on, and so did last week, with more and more interesting events making me sure that I am still here and Life does go on, and he knows it too, and is with me for as long as I need him to be... but, did you notice how None and I practically "owed each other a coke" every other line??? Can you tell we're sisters??? Amazing...

Let It Be and Nice-Nice

Car used to kid me a lot in front of the kids - who have been known to take up the chant themselves at times - calling me 'Ms. Let-it-be'. He would be itching for a big political debate with lots of criticism and jabs at people's motives, and I would defend the poor guys. He would groan that it was no fun having a "let's criticize the neighbors" session because I was too Nice-Nice. (I told him the saying I'd learned from my mother, that if you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all, and he shortened it to "nice-nice"). I know some people think it's harmless to put people down when they're not around to hear it, but for some reason, I cannot say something the slightest bit cruel about someone without having it come back to haunt me. The moment I say something 'mean' - even when it's supposed to be in fun, something that just came off the top of my head - I end up receiving some sort of rude awakening that lets me know I've messed up again. For instance, on one of the first blogs I ever wrote, someone commented and I understood the comment to be sort of "wisecrackish" so I answered their comment in what I thought was a snappy wisecrackish way myself. I wondered about my answer though, as I hit the 'post' button, and some hours later I opened my blog just to reread their comment; sure enough, I saw that I might have totally misinterpreted it, in which case, my answer to that comment would be totally inappropriate, so I deleted it and wrote another answer, addressing the issue on a more serious level, but it was too late - the person never commented on my blog again. To this day, I don't know if they ever came back to see the revised comment...
Just the other night, I commented on another blog - trying to be witty - and made a wisecrack about the epitaph on the grave of the beloved dogs buried next to the woman who had been their mistress. My comment was supposed to be sort of tongue-in-cheek, questioning her love for her dogs by pointing out that some of those dogs (it was rather a long list) had not lived very long lives. I felt kind of bad after I had written it - after all, just because they died young, didn't mean it was her fault! But it was too late - the comment was written and anyway, it was just a little thing, I thought, stop torturing yourself.
Lo and behold, some hours later, we were awakened by the police at 2:30 in the morning to be told that our crazy dog Nemo had gotten out of the yard and gone to a neighboring property and killed all their chickens, which came to about 15 birds, from turkeys to fighting cocks to laying hens to young chickens... The neighbor had trapped Nemo in a cage and when we trudged over there, all groggy-eyed and apprehensive under such eerie conditions, there he was, still chewing on a chicken leg... The neighbor was, of course, rather upset, and by then there were no less than 3 patrol cars with their lights still flashing, and the policemen were saying if I didn't agree to pay up, they could always press charges against me (?) or my dog (??)... But of course I promised to reimburse him for the damages - I had never thought otherwise - I only wanted to be sure that my dog was the only culprit! Since where we live is absolutely teeming with dogs that run loose at night, I was questioning whether perhaps Nemo had been one of a group of dogs - the only one caught! But the neighbor said he had come out and caught Nemo in the act and there were no other dogs... so, I felt that I was not getting anywhere with my careful questions... Both the neighbor and the cops clearly believed that I and only I should be the one who was going to pay.
We agreed, and I told the neighbor we'd have the dog put to sleep. It was so sad. In spite of it all, when I looked into Nemo's eyes, it seemed that he was saying, "I'm sorry, I know I did wrong, but I couldn't help it. Do what you will."
Poor Anto, who is out of school as of a week ago, got the unpleasant task of taking him to the pound. Of course, we all knew he had used up his last chance to turn over a new leaf. Since his return over a year ago, after a 10-month disappearance, he has torn up our fence in several places, bitten two people, menaced certain friends that have come by, and now this latest caper was the last straw. But when I thought about it, he was only five years old, not very old for a dog. See how my words come back to haunt me???
The ending of this tragic tale is actually not so tragic. As it turns out, when Anton took Nemo, the office was closed but the guard and his wife took a liking to the dog and didn't want to see him killed. They said they would keep him as a watch dog (on a chain) and see if it works out. I shook my head. What if Nemo gets loose and comes home (it's not very far from here and he's famous for getting loose from anything that's holding him back). I will not keep going through this kind of thing with that dog. Anton reassured me that he signed a paper saying he had relinquished the dog to the city pound and that the dog is no longer our responsibility. I told him he'd better go back next week and ask for a copy of that paper!

What exactly am I trying to say?

I really don't know! But it was such a gorgeous day! It was the kind of day that just pulls you outside again and again to fill your lungs with fresh fresh air and bathe your skin in warm but not scorching sunlight, and drink in the smell of freshly washed earth. It was a lovely lovely day.

And now it's night, and I'm listening to the wind rushing through the branches of trees outside my window. It's a quiet peaceful night - the dogs haven't started up yet; hope that means the midnight interlopers (an obnoxious canine threesome whose master lets them out at night when everyone is asleep to wreak havoc at other people's houses) will not show up tonight and goad the neighbor's dogs and ours into frantic barking, snarling and lunging at the fences.

Actually I'm just happy that I finished a very tedious and mind-boggling translation and now I'm basking in the afterglow and still have a bit of time left to do as I wish before I go to bed and have to get up to greet that inevitable Monday morning!
So, what can I show you? Well, how about this picture?


It was taken on Mother's Day... I took it to show off her haircut... she came over and delighted us with her haircut so how could I resist taking a picture of it! I'm so glad she didn't actually get her head shaved, which, according to her, was her original idea. She said the haircutter was reluctant to do it and said, "Let's start with this and you see how you like it." Nice, huh?

Or how about this one?


This was an experiment for a school project that Samo and his friend had to do... they had to devise and advertise a nutritious product - so I threw together flour, oatmeal, pecans, almonds, brown sugar, chocolate chips and peanut butter... and voilá.... kinda like brownies in texture... they were utterly delicious!!!!

And finally, there's this one! No words necessary, except to say - I love it!


I wish I could take a picture of myself as original as that!

Okay, on that note, I'll say goodnight! Have a great Monday everyone!

Just before twilight

Yesterday Anto and I looked out the window just before the sun really started to set, and the light was so interesting. We both said - ¡photography phenomenon! - and ran to get our respective cameras. But when we got outside, we didn't know what to shoot and just started taking random pictures. I'm still waiting for his results. Here are some of mine. I tried to get Earth, Wind, and Sky in there.

So here you have EARTH (well, maybe trees, land, house, but still...)



Oh, Can you "feel" - can you "see" - that wind???




and Sky! Look at those pockets of light in the clouds... that's what I was trying for!


But of course, it was the light that drove us out to take pictures. It was amazing! This was the best I could do to capture it. Can you see how it was??

Plants, old papers, and the popcorn-popper - or - what to do on a five-day-weekend

So, you think the title sounds a little off, do you? But no, that's how it is around here, trying to do everything on the to-do list and finding still more that somehow becomes urgent simply because it is staring me in the face! So, we had a huge "bridge" as in a weekend that extended from Friday to Tuesday (back to work tomorrow, Wed.). I knew what I wanted to do, but even as I began, other things popped up, demanding to be acknowledged and dealt with. So, here are some of those things:
- getting one "must" tramite step done per day, be it getting certified copies, going to bank and/or insurance companies, paying bills, making appts., or just organizing all the info - check!
- cleaning out all the papers in the downstairs bedroom - check!
- cleaning out all the papers in the upstairs studio - almost check!
- feeding all my plants with much-needed soil and natural fertilizer - check!
- cleaning my plants - almost check!
- composting - check!
- taking recycling things to the places they can be left - check!
- transplanting two avocado trees into the ground - still to do.
- fixing a problem on one of the cars - check!
- filling up the windshield wiper fluid receptacle on the other car - check!
- gathering together all the loose photos in the house - check!
- sorting the gathered photos - in progress
- finding two missing very cherished photos - MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!!!
- scanning old photos - still to do
- catching a mouse that got into the house - check!
- taking a daytrip to a natural swimming hole nearby - still to do
- taking Bella to get a medicated bath - still to do
- finishing the classification of all the videos and dvds - in progress
- finding material for a special English course we want to be able to offer - check!
- framing some pictures and drawings - still to do
- working on my afghan - finally getting around to being able to do that!

- scouring and fixing the popcorn-popper so it can be usable again - check!



So, things are moving along, as you can see, especially plant-wise.






Hopefully tonight we will pop some popcorn and watch a movie - if we can get it together to do it at a decent hour, as tomorrow, it's back to work and school.

A little trip to the beach - Prior to Flu Fear

I'm not sure how to begin this. I don't want to sound irreverent, I just want to give kind of a farewell blog to Car. I hope you can understand my intentions and just go along with me on this. If not, stop whenever it goes against your grain.

When you've been living with your partner for 30 years, you kind of get to know them pretty well. When they tell you how they feel about certain issues like death and beyond and ask you to please respect their wishes, you say you will, just as they promise to respect yours if you go first.

So when Car said he wanted his ashes to be scattered in the ocean, I said I would do it.

And last weekend, I honored his wishes. In fact, we all did it together. It was Fned who said why wait, and she was right! After all, who knew when we'd all be able to be together again? And honoring Car as a family would be the perfect way to carry out his wish. We all felt it, and we all knew we might not have another chance anytime soon. So, to the ocean it was!

The trip went well. We all boarded our Eurocampervan, and it performed just as Car would have wanted - perfectly! As we hit the highway, I put in a CD of some of Car's favorite selections - Joaquín Sabina mainly, and the scenery flashed by to the rhythm of the music, accompanied by a mellow and nostalgic recapitulation of our life together. Sad, but very comforting somehow.

We reached our destination in the early afternoon, parking the van at our usual spot on the beach. I changed into my shorts and tank-top and headed out to the water immediately. It was a beautifully hot sunny day, and I felt that somehow Car was behind this lovely weather, showing us the beach at its best, to make up for the fact that our trips to that beach usually result in our arriving at the onset of a northern, or overcast skies and sudden rain!

As I floated, swam, and generally took my leisure in the ocean, I noticed a familiar sombrero-clad figure standing on the dune behind where our van was parked and I knew it was Mr. Soriano, the caretaker for that property. He befriended Car some years ago, when we arrived in the middle of a storm. He came out and offered us shelter and electricity for our van. Car was very grateful and invited him to one of our camp-cooked fish barbeques, and from then on, we've had a standing invitation to camp there whenever we come to the beach. Listening to Soriano tell the many experiences of his life is always entertaining, although you have to really keep your ears sharp to catch everything as he has quite a thick Jarocho accent!

I waved from my ocean bed, and then started back to shore. When I arrived, Soriano had already heard the news - or rather, he had deduced it, as he didn't see any sign of Car. He stayed to chat, fondly remembering Car, and we all sat around in our campchairs, and talked about what we'd come to do. At one point, I realized that our original plan of releasing the ashes under moonlight would not be an option as it was the night of a new moon! Soriano said sunset would be a good time and we agreed. Then he left us, saying he had to get back to work but he would try to come visit again before we left.

Meanwhile, we were feeling famished, so Fned got busy making tortas for everyone.

They were yummy! But after eating, we kind of each did our own thing for awhile.






While the others walked the beach, I decided to lie down for a short nap. Upon awakening, I heard their voices, looked out the door of the van, and saw them frolicking together in the ocean. I looked at the sky. The sun was on the wane, but it wasn't yet setting. I waved to them and they beckoned me to come in. Once I was with them, I felt so united in my family. There we were, pretty far out actually, just rocking in the slow-rolling waves... How long had it been since the last time I was with all of my kids in the ocean, just lolling in a haphazard circle and joking around, keeping our heads above each wave as it rolled in.
Suddenly, a little fish jumped clear out of the water right in the middle of our circle! We looked at each other and knew it was time. Not quite sunset, but yes, it was time.

By the time we finished with our ceremony, the sun was truly getting ready to set. We trooped out of the water, dried off and changed our clothes and met back in the van for a wine-and-cheese dinner.





Later we sat around talking about Car and our lives, and then taking pictures of each other, just because.




The next morning, we got up early and knew it was time to go back. Our lives were all waiting for us back in the everyday world and we had to get back to them. We got the van ready to go.



But before we left, we went back to the beach to take one last picture - our farewell family picture for Car.