Three little boxes

I've been thinking alot about love and what it's all about. People show their love in different ways. There's a yin and a yang about love. I mean, love flows in and out, and sometimes the message of love is misunderstood, or it simply gets lost somewhere. Or maybe the balance is off at times. At any rate, love is both the simplest and the most complicated feeling we have.

And you know, love might also be understood to be about planning. Being a spontaneous kind of person, planning is not one of my virtues. But if you're a good planner, people can feel your love through the way you plan something that they will be a part of. That's what I need to learn to do. Can you learn to think about something way ahead of time and plan out the details for it? Can you learn it after you've already lived more than a half-century without understanding how to do it?

So, we were on our way to Texas for a big family reunion. As the time grew close for leaving, I started going through the whole "how to show my love" thing... while all the time, my parents and sibs were most probably putting their thoughts into constructive action plans! No wonder I felt all their love so clearly when I got there! And where was I??? Wasting time, thinking without planning! But okay, I finally did have an idea that excited me. The idea was to give them each a special little jewelry box, and I spent a few days getting the tools and supplies I would need, thinking how I would do it (warming up so to speak) and then finally, actually painting the boxes. I wasn't completely satisfied with the results, went back and forth between finding them each splendid and lovely, and seeing them as totally amateur and ridiculous. But my kids convinced me they were good gifts - remember, I wanted them to be something that would show my real love! And I even wrote little inscriptions on the bottom so they would understand the symbols I had painted on the tops.

I wrapped them carefully in bubble wrap and set them aside to pack at the top of the gift bag. And that was the night before we left. The next morning we started out very early on our trip - a 2,000 km. drive across the border and into Texas. It was a good drive and we were all in great spirits.

I'll blog about the trip itself, the incredible birthday party for my dad, (well planned of course!) the family reunion fun (with everyone on the ball except yours truly), the family picture fun (my kind of spontaneous but it turned out so fine too), and all the other lovely moments with my family... after I get this "confession" (and I'm not even Catholic) part out of my system. Because what happened was, when it came time for me to give out my gifts, it turned out that I forgot to pack the most essential ones! Typical.

So here they are: the three little boxes. To those they were meant for, with love, from minshap.

P.S. Maybe I'll get better about planning this next year. It's only one of the many things I need to get better on... but more about new year's resolutions in the next blog. Meanwhile, HAVE A HAPPY BRINGING IN OF 2010. I gotta go get ready for it myself! See what I mean?? It's almost upon us, and I'm just starting to really think about it!!!

My 3 Best Kept Travel Secrets

Fellow blogger A Canuck in Cancun added me to the list of those sharing three of their best travel secrets on their blogs according to the rules of Trip Base Blog tagging. The final list of travel secrets will be published at some point in a special blog post for everyone to share.
I'm actually curious and even eager to see what comes of this effort; just think, we will all have access to some pretty incredible places to see. Like having our own personal tourguide for many trips to come! I only hope we'll have time to do the traveling before we use up the oil reserves!

Okay, the first place that comes to mind is:
Apulco, near Cuetzalan, Puebla. I've never actually been to the Hostal Hacienda Apulco, but I have seen the waterfall called La Olla, which you can click on when you're in the main menu of this website. It was so impressive - I remember how we had to get a little boy from the town of Cuetzalan to lead us there... that was many years ago, but I never forgot that first glimpse of the waterfall. My son has camped out on the river near the waterfall, but I've heard from others that the Hacienda is extremely nice and not expensive. See for yourself as you explore the menu, and be sure to check out that video that's in the main menu!

Apulco is only minutes away from my second option:
Cuetzalan, Puebla - I love this town. It's the kind of place you can spend the whole day exploring. The huge marketplace, the picturesque restaurants with their delightful menus and wonderful views of the streets of the town. There is an impressive variety of handcrafts, easy on the purse, the people are so friendly and they really appreciate your visit. The best coffee I ever had was from Cuetzalan, and I'm planning to go there again soon to get some more, as well as an incredible liqueur known as Yolixpa, which is a mixture of alcohol and herbs native to the area, a truly exotic drink which gives you an incredible feeling of being peacefully at one with the universe, which might be the reason, it's nickname is El Todopoderoso (the all-powerful drink). Believe me, a little goes a long way! For a glimpse of Cuetzalan, watch the video in this link. And remember, Apulco is only a few miles away!

My third pick for this blog is another coffee region - in Veracruz this time. It's a place called Teocelo. The drive to get there (going south from Puebla on the autopista to Xalapa, Veracruz) in itself is breathtaking - you are going through the coffee belt and the landscape is so richly green and brown... deep forests and green meadows. Before you even get to Teocelo, there are places to stop and vist, but then, you'll know when and where! The town of Teocelo is very colonial. We stayed in a lusciously green, extremely inexpensive outdoor area called Rancho San Gabriel. Since our main objective for making the trip was to taste as many different coffees as needed in order to find the best ones, we didn't take the opportunity to experience a temazcal, which they offer there, and I always regretted that. A temazcal, by the way, is a traditional sauna - an ancient ritual that began with the Meshicas. The sauna is a ritual in reverence to Mother Earth, using the four elements of earth, water, air and fire to purify and harmonize body, mind, and spirit. I'm not sure of the particulars of it, but it leaves you feeling cured of all your ailments. Anyway, during our search for coffee, we found three that we considered exceptional and bought them right from the growers. We also went to see the incredible waterfall in Xico, which is near Teocelo. You can find your way around quite easily once you're there. Everyone knows what you're looking for and they are ready and willing to help you find it! Please do check out the video of the waterfall, but remember, it's only a video! When you actually get there and see it for yourself, it will astound you!

Okay, finally, I need to nominate other bloggers to carry on the effort! Am looking for ideal candidates for writing up their travel secrets, but if you read this blog and would like to be nominated, please leave a comment so I can get back to you!

gazing out the window

There must be some reason why I can't write, but I find it impossible to catch even a glimmer of it. A truly horrible plight! I haven't been able to sit down and write in so long that it's almost getting to the point where I don't even want to turn on the computer. And if I do, I just end up playing spider solitaire, reading others' blogs, googling zany ideas and reading some of the sites where they come up, all of this after doing the perfunctory e-mail check. But I did finish this painting the other night; when I look at it, I see the expression of my bewilderment... an open window with vast uncertainty beyond, longing, looking out into the night for an answer and being met by darkness, silence, and the unknown. Shivery, yes, but somehow exciting too. Such a beautiful window to be standing before. What's out there? If I keep looking, surely I'll see it! Let me capture it and express it in words! Soon, please!

Lost and Found

This is such a good story! Just hope I can tell it right. It's the kind of thing that warms my heart even as it exasperates me when I think of the economic aspects of it! But you can judge for yourself. Read on:

The story began a couple of months ago when I found a puppy, and Anto and Moni returned from their caribbean trip with a puppy they'd bought. Both puppies got incredibly sick; we spent zillions of pesos to try to get them better. This phase, which we dubbed the 'animal hospital phase' lasted about a month, and in the end, the puppy I had found, Ione, survived, while the puppy Anto and Moni had brought back with them, Zula, didn't. They buried little Zula in our backyard, and then, on Moni's b'day a week later, she received a dalmation puppy from one of her professors, who knew the sad tale of Zula's demise. This puppy, pure white with faint brown dots, they named Negro, which is akin to the name Blackie I suppose; at at any rate, it has no discriminatory or racial associations attached to it in Mexico, as far as I know!

Once again we went through the breaking-in period with a new puppy - shots, sickness, cleaning up poop and pee... Clo had been taking most of the responsibility for Ione, and I looked after Bella, so now, Sam pitched in too, by being good about helping out Anto and Moni with Negrito.

Then CLo got so busy with work and school, that I found myself taking over the feeding and tending of Ione. While CLo had been keeping her in check, things had been fine. I was so impressed with the puppy. She seemed so good and obedient, and since she slept in CLo's room, I could get up at my usual pre-dawn time and not have anything to do with her. But the day inevitably arrived when CLo said she didn't want the puppy sleeping in her room anymore, and I had to keep her downstairs. I soon discovered, to my dismay, that the puppy had a mind of her own. She knew what I was telling her to do or not do, but she would just look at me and ignore the command. It really started to irk me, so I started making her stay outside.

Meanwhile, Anto was training his little dog, and I saw that he was doing a great job; he had so much patience! I think the original plan was to keep him at Moni's house, but since she really has no space for a dog there, he ended up staying here. Anto did quite well as a dog-caregiver, and only asked Sam to give him his medicine or feed him when he himself couldn't be here because of work or school. The puppy stayed in his room because Moni didn't want him outside too much since the Vet had told them he was too little to be out all the time. But when the puppy started getting more active and Anto saw that Ione was now staying outside, he decided to put Negrito outside too when he was away. That practice started on Monday of last week.

On Wednesday night, there was a huge dogfight outside our fence in the middle of the night. I don't know which of those night-wandering trouble-making dogs tore a hole in the fence, but since we all leave before it really gets light, none of us noticed the hole the next morning. Anto left his puppy outside when he went to school, and when he got home, he discovered not only the hole, but also the fact that Bella and Negrito were missing. Moni was at her place, recovering from tooth surgery, but Anto was beside himself with guilt and anxiety over the missing puppy. When Bella didn't return by the end of the next day, I began to worry too. She's gotten out before, but always come back a few hours later to eat, drink and sleep off whatever mischief she may have gotten into. But this time, she didn't come back!

Sam and I started going around from house to house, township to township, looking for the dogs, but no luck. Thursday night and Friday, you could feel the air of expectation and hope at our place. We all gave Ione more attention than usual, but all the while, our ears were tuned for a bark, or a whine, signifying the return of the dogs. We went out and whistled, clapped, and shouted every once in awhile... and every time we walked by a window, we looked out to see if they were outside the gate wanting to come in... but no dogs showed up, until late Friday evening, when Bella suddenly appeared at the gate, wagging her tail, wet and muddy, but looking quite well! Sam immediately took her out again on a leash, hoping she could lead him to Negro, but it was raining quite steadily, and they didn't get far.

Saturday morning found Anto up early, busily working on a poster that he subsequently had printed and made into 50 copies!! While CLo saw to the veterinary needs of Ione and Bella (typical Saturday happenings), he then took the poster (see below) all over the three townships we live between, to tack on telephone poles and give to storeowners, etc. I told him the best thing to do would be to go out looking for the puppy ourselves. He agreed to go on a trek with me and we hiked through all the hills and overgrown paths around here, but ended up with nothing except some spectacular pictures we took along the way. (Couldn't help it; it was a gorgeous day!)
Anto's poster:
¡ATENCIÓN!
SE BUSCA.
RESPONDE AL NOMBRE DE “NEGRO” TIENE ALGUNAS MANCHAS CAFES EN EL CUERPO, SE EXTRAVIÓ EL JUEVES 8 DE OCTUBRE, EN LA LOCALIDAD DE xxxxxxxx; A LA PERSONA QUE PUEDA DAR INFORMES SOBRE SU PARADERO, O LO ENCUENTRE FAVOR DE LLAMAR AL TELÉFONO: xxxxxxx O CEL: xxxxxxxxxx. SE LE GRATIFICARÁ CON:
$500 PESOS.

Refusing to leave it at that, Anto went out and got 100 more copies of his poster made. And then - before he could tack these new ones up, he actually got a call!

Someone had seen the pup and told him where. He went to the construction site they'd told him, and sure enough, the construction workers there told him that both dogs had appeared on Thursday. The men had fed them for a couple of days, after which the big one (Bella)left. One of the guys really took to the little pup, and decided to keep him. Since it was Saturday, he'd taken the puppy with him to his family's house for the weekend, to a town about 4 hours away by bus. The other guys assured Anto that he'd be back on Monday.

Monday morning, as I was just preparing to start my class, Anto called me on my cell to ask me how to get to Cuetzalan. Now, I've been there, but I don't really know the way. I just know it's a looooong drive over narrow, curvy roads. I asked him why he needed to go there, and he said he was going to get Negro back! Turns out the construction worker had dutifully returned to work on Monday, but of course he didn't bring the pup with him! He promised Anto he'd go home the next weekend and bring the pup back the next Monday, but Anto would have none of that! He offered to pay the guy his daily wage, take him to his hometown, pick up the pup, and drive the guy back so he could be at work the next day! Now he was ready to go, with his combi gassed up and Moni riding shotgun (she later told me she wouldn't let him go without her), and the construction worker in the back seat.

I confess I was at a loss for words when he told me the plan! Was this really happening???? All this over a little puppy you've had for about 3 weeks????? True, in view of the fact that he'd already tried and failed to nurse one puppy back to health, not to mention that this puppy is technically Moni's and was under his care when it got lost, I could understand his need to finally have something turn out right. Still, when I thought about the long drive, gas money, toll money, the wages paid to the guy, the reward paid to the girl who gave him the original information, the posters he'd had made... all I could do was shake my head in a mixture of disbelief and admiration!

The upshot of all of this is that, yes, Anto and Moni returned that night - very late - with their puppy in Anto's arms. Both came into the house full of stories about the adventure, and the experience of meeting that construction guy, how he told them about the life of a bricklayer, seeing the tiny tiny town where he lives... They were tickled about everything, eyes shining with genuine happiness! They were relieved and relaxed, in spite of the long journey. They didn't care about the money, they were glad they had seen it through... and all of us were really impressed with Anto's perseverance. One thing's for sure: if Anto ever decides to have kids, he'll be an excellent father!

If at first you don't succeed...

... Try, try again! Isn't that how the saying goes? So, yesterday, I spent so long on my drawing for Sam, and I was so proud of it when it was done, and he seemed to like it although he did tactfully mention a couple of flaws with it, which I myself had also noticed. I told him that in general I felt good about it though, and I had no more time to dedicate to it, as I had to go interpret at the conference so we left it at that, and I thought that was the end of it.
But later, I returned from the conference, and, in the course of the day, asked CLo if she'd seen the drawing I gave Sam, and when she said no, I wondered why he hadn't shown it to her, but I went and got it and showed it to her.


She oooohed and aaaahed over it and basically stroked my ego. But later still, I asked Anto what he thought and he was brutal in his criticism. The neck was too short, the bottom was too wide, the curve was too-curved, and there was no shadow, or light... WOW!! Suddenly I was embarrassed, that I'd given it to Sam as a gift! And since Sam agreed with all his views - though hadn't wanted to hurt my feelings by saying so earlier - I decided then and there to try to fix it up. I took back the drawing and worked on it for awhile. Then showed the results to the critics. Anto continued to see fault with it, and we sat together looking at the real guitar, and my drawing. He pointed out what he meant, and I saw that he was right. So ONCE AGAIN, I started erasing, and re-shaping... Finally, I finished it, to my satisfaction, and showed it to CLo and to Sam, who both thought it was muuuuuuch better. But I still wanted to see Anto's reaction, and had to wait until today since he was out late last night.
I wish I had a picture of his face when he saw it! His eyebrows went up, his eyes got wide, his mouth made an "oh" and he said, "WOW"! He liked it...


Okay, it's true, I erased so much, that I practically ruined the paper, but ended up using chalk to cover the marks and that had the added advantage of providing the shadow effect!...
So check 'em out: BEFORE and AFTER

How to stave off the screaming meemees

Have you ever been stuck in a place and not been able to move from there, and thought about all the things you could be doing at that moment if you didn't have to be stuck there? That's what I call a situation that gives you the screaming meemees. And that's the kind of situation I'm in right now! Here I am at a conference where I was hired to interpret. All the participants are working on entering their results in English and Spanish into various computers. They don't need my services for that, but I have to remain here in case they do need some help in some way. So I'm going bananas, wishing I had brought my German book so I could catch up on the exercises I still haven't done, or brought the book I'm about to start (Arráncame la Vida) so I could subtly get in the first chapter, keeping my book hidden on my lap under the desk where I'm sitting. But then, my partner said, "Well, if you can't stand just sitting back and relaxing, you can always use the computer." AND IT'S TRUE!!!! THERE'S A COMPUTER RIGHT HERE!! AND IT HAS INTERNET!! So here you have me blogging away, staving off the screaming meemees and hoping to come up with something good to blog about.
Okay, I'll tell you about this morning. It's Sam's b'day you know. He's now 16 years old! Unfortunately, we're broke, so I didn't get him a gift (though I'm hoping to use my last change money to get him a moka cake on the way home from here), but at midnight last night, I realized that I could draw him something! Yes indeed! So I got up at 6, made some coffee, fed the dogs, got my drawing pad, in preparation to draw - um, draw WHAT???? Oh no! What to draw??? Luckily, my coffee was super hot and a deliciously sweet (it was instant so I'd put some brown sugar in it; otherwise I can't stand instant coffee) so I started walking around the silent downstairs floor of the house, sipping on that hot coffee as I glided through the semidarkness, looking for something I wanted to sit down and draw for Sam. That's how I came upon my guitar standing in the corner of my bedroom. It looked absolutely perfect - it's position, the shadowy spirituality of it! Could I capture any of that? How exciting, just to try! I sat down on my bed with my drawing board and paper, my drawing pencil and my trusty eraser. It took me almost 2 hours, but they were two of the most satisfactory hours I've ever spent, and the best thing of all was that I heard Sam himself coming downstairs just as I was doing the final shading and signing. He liked his gift and I liked that lovely merging of self and emerging shape on paper that transports me from the mundane to the sublime!
Oh isn't this perfect! The participants are finishing with their files, and I'm finishing up here! Catch you later with a posting of the photo of the drawing I did for Sam (and maybe the cake too!).

Sunrise and Rainbow

You know how they say, "things came to a head when..." ? Well, that's what I'm going to begin with as I tell you this story because it's got a lot of symbolic twists and turns that I don't want to leave out. However, I will try to make it as coherent as possible.
Things came to a head a couple of weeks ago, when I took my painting to be framed. I had it in the car, and suddenly a carpenter's shop appeared, and there was a parking space right there, so I stopped and asked and made the deal and left my painting with him. But let's go back through it in slow motion. I stopped the car, got out and there he was, coming out of his shop. Olive-skinned and beautiful, a young but complete man, with a muscled but not too-muscled, body, a vitality that was apparent in his stance, brilliant green eyes that immediately slit into emerald jewels when he greeted me with a dazzling smile that included even white teeth and a dimple at the right corner of his mouth. He was completely natural, not playing games or acting, yet he had the kind of beauty that you drink in with your eyes. I could appreciate that; and yet, when I left him my painting, I knew it wasn't only because of his physical attributes, but rather his whole way of being, the way he made the deal, which was very honest and economical, the way he showed me other work of his upon request, which proved to me that he knew what he was doing, the respectful way he handled my work as he took it from the trunk of my car.
So I drove away, thinking that I had made a good deal and telling Car in my head to calm down - everything I had just witnessed and thought was simply an objective realization.
Two weeks later, some women teachers at school were talking about beautiful men, and I mentioned the carpenter. I heard myself telling them and thought maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. They might be thinking I was on the prowl... but no, it was just that his whole beauty - inner and outer - had impressed me.
Then, last weekend, I was at the Popo with friends, and I heard myself talking about Car - quoting him on something - just as if he were still here - and I wondered how it sounded to them. Did I sound too light, too blasé, as if I didn't care that he'd died? Is that how the teachers thought of me because I'd mentioned the beauty of a carpenter?
But the thing is, I know Car's gone. I don't think about him or pine for him, or find it hard to get on with my life, or any of that. I go to sleep at night and fling my arm out, knowing he won't be there at the the tips of my fingers, and that one poignant moment is beautiful; it's a lovely sadness; it's memory!! I need that! I like that! It's the moment that makes it possible for me to fall asleep a moment later with a sigh of contentment and a smile on my face. Because those moments make up for all the moments that I don't think about him or feel sad or lost or anything.
And this goes beyond just feelings. Yesterday, I was doing an art assignment which was to draw a face from memory. I knew I shouldn't try to draw his, because it's very hard to pin it down in my mind's eye... you know how they say you can't recall the face of a loved one who died... But I wanted to defy that belief, so I started to draw his face. When I finished, I was amazed. I hadn't drawn his face, but the one I drew strongly resembled Anto's face! And I thought to myself, "how comforting to know that I wasn't too far off! Here's proof that he lives on through his kids!" It made me extremely happy, but I closed my notebook before anyone could see it, because I didn't want them to ruin the mood with an opinion that might contradict what I'd just seen.
So all of the above was just to give some background to what happened this morning.
This morning, I got to take Sam to school. When we got in the car, it was pitch black outside. I settled in with my coffee, my purse, my sunglasses. Sam snorted, "What are you bringing your sunglasses for? It's still dark!" "I know," I answered, "but the sun rises around the time I drop you off and sometimes, it hits you right in the eyes during the drive home."
Sure enough, the sky was beginning to lighten by the time I drove away from his school. Twenty minutes later, as I made the turn off the highway into the entrance of our tiny town, I saw the sun in my rearview mirror. Two thoughts hit me simultaneously. The first was the insignificant observation that the sun is at my back on the way home, so I didn't need my sunglasses after all; the second was the tremendous, knock-the-breath-out-of-you realization that Car was behind this sunrise, which was the most indescribable shade of yellow - somewhere between sunflower egg-yolk and baby blanket pastel, its brilliant rays slashing across the sky, breaking apart in places to accommodate patches of blue and stark white clouds; a stunning display that lit up the whole horizon brighter than a 500+ watt stage-light. As I looked and looked at it in the rearview mirror, driving in second gear, unable to take my eyes away for more than a fraction of a second at a time for as long as it was visible, I saw his smile, I saw/felt his eyes and his smile, and my eyes were full of the whole vision - sunrise and Car - (along with some spontaneous tears of an emotion that has no name) and then, I realized I had to turn again, and I wouldn't have that view anymore, and I didn't want to stop seeing that sun-filled sky, with his face full of benevolent knowledge behind it.
I took the turn, and lo and behold, there was a rainbow outside my window! It was as if he were telling me, "See there? Sunshine or rain, I'm always just around the corner". The rainbow accompanied me up until the final turn into the road that leads up to my house, whereupon it slowly faded away as rainbows do...

Picnic on the Popo

Usually, I'm pretty much a homebody. I go to work, and I come home and I don't want to leave again. Usually, I'm a weekend shut-in. I like hanging out around my house and hate having to go anywhere. I just want to be home. But ever since I started those painting classes (a month ago) it seems that I have less and less time to be at home. My classes are two nights a week and each class is two hours long. I also accepted another teaching job which is supposedly only one night a week, but that means one night less that I get to stay home after my day job. And the last few weekends have been full of activities that normally don't come up, but the kinds of things you just can't say no to... sooooo, last Saturday, I was looking forward to a complete weekend at home without social interruptions for the first time in almost a month. And then the phone rang...

It turned out to be an old friend who was inviting me to drive up with their family and another family, to the Popocateptl Volcano and spend the day hiking and picnicking... They wanted to show off their VW Touareg 4-wheel-drive, and they insisted I come with them in that vehicle so as not to slow down the pace by following them in my trusty Eurovan camper or in Anto's combi camper... The Touareg only seats 5, and three seats were already occupied by Arto, Soco and Mosi, so that meant there was only room for Samo and me - which worked out fine, as the others had plans anyway...

Talk about wild rides!!! By the end of the trip up I was sure my bones had been re-arranged inside my body! Maybe those kinds of vehicles will climb anything, but only the driver feels that kind of sureness; I gotta remember to think twice next time before I say yes to going along for the ride!!! However, who am I to complain, when the place we arrived at was absolutely paradisiacal! What surprised me most was my own metamorphosis once we were there. I was straining at the leash, so to speak, wanting Arto to park somewhere so that I could get out of the vehicle and BE there! As soon as he finally did stop, I jumped out and started walking rapidly toward the sound of the water.

The others took long minutes to get out, survey the surroundings, discuss the options, but I was already trying to find a way to get down to the swollen gurgling stream that ran at the bottom of the ledge where we had parked.

They tried to call me back, but I was already out of earshot, so they ended up following me - those that dared - and we went down rocks and slopes and got to the water and took pictures galore...

There were all sorts of wild mushrooms growing along the banks - some with amazing colors!

At one point, Samo crossed over to the other side of the stream and I got him on the way back!

The stream grew in size but it became harder to find a way to follow it, and anyway, the rain - which had been a constant mistiness up until then, was turning into quite a heavy drizzle that made picture-taking risky, so we gave into the others above who were calling us back.

We got in the vehicles (two identical Touaregs except for the colors) and went up higher until we came to the midpoint of the volcano, where one can drive no further. There we stopped and, while the men unloaded the picnic stuff, we women and kids enjoyed a sneak quesadilla - how good they taste in the mountain air and grilled over a wood fire! And the women who made them and served them to us were absolutely gorgeous!!! I asked permission to take their pics, just so I would have a souvenir of those smiles!

Meanwhile, the men were busy setting out all the food they'd brought, which included at least 7 different cheeses, 3 or 4 different types of bread, salami, canadian bacon, turkey, olives, lots of wine, and grapes and apples to munch on... They'd found a good place among the picnic sites scattered along the side of the Park, which include benches, tables and a tile roof over your head, and just as they finished getting everything picnicky perfect and popped the cork of the first bottle, the rest of us surreptitiously finished our quesadillas and appeared to partake in this delicious smorgasbord!

We ate slowly, savoring all the sights, smells, and tastes, enjoying a last glass of wine all around as we waited out the rain. As its soft pitter-patter abated, we got back into the cars to drive over to a huge mountain meadow, where people stroll, hike, horseback ride, and eat...
Soon we heard the rippling of yet another gorging mountain stream...

We followed it as it twisted and turned, taking advantage of great picture moments, like this:

and the river gradually widened until we rounded a curve and there was the waterfall,

cascading down and spraying off a fine mist.... lovely, lovely...

Simply awesome!

There we took lots of pictures and stayed until we had drunk our fill of the beauty of Nature. Then it was time to walk back, stopping here and there for one last glimpse.

... or for a momentous pose!

or to highlight the colors and hues...

Though finally we did have to say good-bye and get into those 4-wheel-drives, and jiggle-joggle our way down the mountainside... and since by this time, the wine had made the drivers less cautious, there were quite a few "extreme sport" moments!!!

All's well that ends well, however, and we did make it home in one piece, and got an excellent night's sleep, and yesterday, as I was walking along the streets of the city looking for a building I needed to enter, I noticed that my legs hurt - and it dawned on me that all that climbing and romping around on the mountainside had taken its toll!!!

No matter! I'm ready for more of that any time you say!

ART - being its own reward

Can you believe it? I finally started taking an art class... it happened so coincidentally, so spur-of-the-momentishly. I was walking down the street in the small town of Cholula and heard some lovely music so I walked toward it. Suddenly I happened upon a storefront that was wide open and who should be sitting in the middle of the space but a whittler! Now I've always been interested in whittling, so I stopped to watch him and also to listen to the music as it was reaching its peak. Naturally, my eyes wandered around the place and it was full of paintings of all sorts. Eventually I looked up at the Marque of the entrance and saw the sign over the door: "Artes Plásticas", "clases individuales". So I asked. The man said he works one on one with anyone who feels that they want to paint/draw. His method is not to lecture and drill, but to sit the person down with the necessary materials and put them to work painting/drawing the project of their choice. "Do you want to paint?" He asked me. "Do you really want to?" YES, I said. "Okay, that's all I need to hear. If you really want to do it, then you will do it, and I'll help you!" There and then we made a schedule for my classes and I made the decision for the type of painting I would do - a landscape in pastels.
My first class was choosing the landscape and getting started. Each class is two hours long and there are two classes per week. It took me three classes to bring my first work to conclusion... what do you think?



I had just finished my painting when some people I know organized a drawing session with a live model. They invited me and I jumped at the chance. That was the most awesome experience I have had in a looooong time! I cannot describe the powerful thrill of drawing the human body as you are looking at it. I felt as though I'd been transported to another reality where my brain was almost disconnected and I was all eyes and hand as the sketch came to life. I'm not saying the result deserves a place in a gallery or a museum or any kind of public recognition, but still, I feel so good about the drawings I did that night. So here is one of them: what do you think?

Dealing with Pessimism

Why do I battle so against pessimism? I know that a long time ago, I myself was rather pessimistic, so why have I no compassion now for pessimistic attitudes in others? I well remember everyone calling me a hypochondriac at age 12. And I remember thinking "nothing really matters" was the greatest truth of Life when I was experimenting in search of self at the end of high school and first year of college. And I know that I told my Dad, when he said, "We just want you to be happy" that being happy wasn't what I was aiming for; rather, that I was searching for truth, which by then meant realism and dealing with hard facts and trying to improve things and living in the here and now. That was at age 25, having become a mother for the first time. I had my partner and we were on a quest. And having a little daughter only brought everything into focus and gave us a more visible path to go down. Now we would have to be examples for her, and later for her little brother, and so on and so forth. And somewhere along the way, what I saw as the search for truth became intricately woven into what I wanted to be a truly good life for them, the next generation. And being a good example meant making changes where I could and accepting things I couldn't change and shifting from an emphasis on politics and war to environmentalism and education. And always, always, trying not to lose sight of what pure creativity will do to nourish your soul.
That's when pessimism totally moved into the past for me. Because how can you waste time moaning and groaning about everything that you're faced with, when there are so many other more exciting, interesting, useful, beneficial ways to see it? I'm so upset at this moment because I can't talk to someone close to me. We live in different spheres. We see things so differently and nothing I say is comprehensible to her and what she says, though comprehensible, seems so futile to me, so unchallenging, so oppressive, so stifling. Here's an example:
She got her class schedule which will be from 3:00 pm to 9:00 Monday - Thursday, and came to me with a horrified face as she told me. My first reaction: How great! No classes at all on Fridays! You'll have time to eat lunch before you go and not have to be buying lunch outside every day.
Her reaction to my reaction: ARE YOU KIDDING? MY SCHEDULE HAS NO BREAKS! AND ONE OF MY CLASSES IS FOUR HOURS LONG!
My reaction to her reaction to my first reaction: But you'll have the whole morning to do things you want to do. You'll have Friday completely free!!! The four-hour class won't be 4 hours straight, you'll see; there are at least 3 breaks I bet - or one long one.
Her reaction was pure rejection and the last words I heard from her were to the effect that she was going to drop the 4-hour class. All I could say at that point was that I didn't want to talk about it any more; what use would there be if she couldn't see anything I was saying. She would just have to do what she had to do. I left her fuming at the table and brought my banana bread and coffee upstairs... and here I am blogging about it.
And now look at this: she just came upstairs so I asked her to sit with me here and read my blog before I put it up and she sat down and read it aloud, at my begging request.
Her first reaction: I hate how you write your blog sometimes...
My reaction to her reaction: oh sorry.
Her reaction to my reaction to her first reaction: laughter, a shake of the head and "not really"... and we actually talked afterwards. And guess what that talk led to? I found out that she does indeed have a class on Friday - that's the day whe she has only one class - the 4-hour one!
And what's the upshot of this? She's still in her world and I'm still in mine, but our worlds moved closer together. For instance, look how we miscommunicated the first time around! We ended this last talk with a tear and a smile and now she's moved on, and seems to be lining up her strategies to putting plan B into effect - trying to change her schedule once school starts; I got to do the reinforcement thing of telling her how capable she is of getting what she wants; she's incredibly intelligent and has an abundance of determination and that will take her a loooong way. She's not so pessimistic about things and I'm feeling like it was worth it to write this blog! You see? I can't help it! I'm always on the lookout for the rainbow - and that's how I deal with pessimism.

Back to Reality

After a trip like I/we had, it's a dose of reality to be back to your regular life. First there was a plane trip and a whirlwind stay with family and friends north of the border, during which I:
Got my driver's license thanks to my Dad, who lent me his car and was a good sport about sitting and waiting for me for two hours while I took first the written, then the practical driving tests. Of course, he did get to sit in an air-conditioned room with the newspaper and a library book, so I guess it wasn't too hard to be patient. And since I passed the test, that must have made it all worthwhile, right?
Ate some fabulous enchiladas with my parents and sibs one afternoon (made by my Dad!)

YUMMY!

Saw the beginnings of a house my cousin is having built by her sister's husband who is an architect!

House going up in the woods!

Witnessed the moment when my mom received the most lovely news from my sister!

And what a surprise that was!

And just enjoyed my stay to the max!

Then it was on the road and living in the camper and traveling south to places I've been before, lived in before, and seeing people I've missed and wondered about, and spending money and trying to find ways to beat the heat, and having the van looked after, and looking after the dog on the road, and eating the most scrumptious food during the whole two different trips (and coming back to find that I've gained 2kilos because of that) and swimming in seas and cenotes and looking for rivers and river-rocks (and bringing back a whole bucketful of river-rocks) and helping Lu move out and move in, and swinging in hammocks, and sleeping in hammocks when the van was too hot to consider a sleeping place...


We took lots of pictures, but in trying to choose the best ones, I get too wishy-washy! Here are some the ones I like best:

ON THE ROAD



the 'Bajada a Orizaba'








Trying to get out of a parking lot after filling the tank and making a pit stop




Licking her chops!






Fruit market by night!












Under a shady tree on a rest stop next to the ocean






Approaching the tunnel

In the tunnel!

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!

CLo and Bella playing ball...


















Getting some shade...






Just before sunrise...




Just after sunrise!






Dzit-Nup - paradise beneath the ground we walk on...







Talking things over at the edge of the ocean




SIESTA!

It's almost time!

Leaving in a few hours for some north-south traveling, and what am I doing? BLOGGING!!! But no, I'm not... just trying to calm myself down as I rush around trying to get everything done at once, and always thinking of something else I need to do!!

Okay, back to packing...
More later.

Making up for lost time

After not blogging for weeks on end, I seem to be full of blogthoughts. There's something about blogging; it's such a release - all you need is the idea you want to talk about. Of course, it's easier when you have pictures - the pictures can do most of the telling, and it's nicer for others to read few words as they focus on funny, fine, or fabulous photos than to wade through lots of words without the benefit of any photos. On the other hand, the thing that's great for the blogger is to get their ideas in order. And I do need to do that.

But here's something - which I didn't write myself - that is so beautiful, it just takes my breath away, not only for its beauty but because I feel the same way:

de Yussiff:
Pao, quisiera poder estar contigo y darte un abrazo que evite el espacio vacio que puedan dejar las palabras, ayer uno de mis heroes el mejor de muchos, alcanzo el conocimiento absoluto y se unio con la fuerza que da equilibrio al universo. y no ... nos dejo solos nos envolvio y nos abraza ¿no lo sientes? y si te digo que es el mejor de mis heroes, es por que gracias a el los tengo a ti (que no mames ve hasta donde llegaste y el lo pudo ver) y a luis en mi vida, y gracias a ustedes soy como soy. y no necesito decir mas por que gracias a el pude hacer mi cosmovision, y aprender a entender los secretos de muchas cosas, por el conoci a sabina, y por el supe lo que era viajar.

From Yussiff:

Pao, I wish I could be with you and give you a hug that would shut out the empty space that words can leave. Yesterday one of my heroes - the greatest of many - reached the state of absolute knowledge and joined the force that gives balance to the universe. And no, he didn't leave us, he enveloped us and he's embracing us - don't you feel it? And if I tell you that he is the greatest one of my heroes, it's because thanks to him I have you (and no shit, look how far you've gotten and he was able to witness it!) and Lu in my life, and thanks to you two, I am who I am. And I don't need to say any more because thanks to him I've been able to form my own cosmovision and learn to understand the secrets behind many things; I discovered Sabina through him, and because of him, I know what it is to travel...

Yussiff is my nephew by marriage... I think he understood the essence of Car as well as anyone ever could. Just wanted to see his thought here...

An Almost-Anniversary

I haven't forgotten. Did you think I would? How could I forget this same day 31 years ago... that excitement, the screaming hectic can't-wait-gotta-have-it-now longing... getting off the plane and seeing you. And that time-stopping, all-devouring look that passed between us for an eternal milisecond before we came together in a tremendous hug that was cut off before it could go anywhere, and we got my stuff and walked out of the airport... And that was the intensity we lived through with each other every day (or most of them) for the first ten years. Whether we were together or apart - and we had some separations during that time because that was all part of it too - we were always connected, never far from the other in thought or feeling.
Then came the year of ambivalence, and then 4 years of starting from scratch on a new adventure - I loved all of that so much. And finally, it was back here, to this place, where I still am now. It made for an intensity of a different type - the bad was worse, and the good was too good to last. So we kept rollercoasting our way through the years, but what we both realized, in our most lucid moments, in those times when we were together looking at everything with synchronized vision, was that we were constantly redefining and increasing our understanding of true love - it's hell sometimes, we'd say. But oh, the good moments!! Oh those perfect perfect moments!!
So I just want you to know that I haven't forgotten any of it; in fact, I reflect on parts of it at least 3 or 4 times a day... and I feel the intensity of your first feelings for me as well as your last - you loved me at the beginning for who I was then, and you loved me at the end for who I am now. And you have to know that's how I loved you too.

(don't worry, I took down and saved the original blog I put up here, but I'm leaving the abridged version, just because; I only hope I still left the essence of it intact!)

Ten Minutes

I had such a good idea for a blog, but now that I'm here I've totally forgotten what it was!! Something to do with writing, something I've discovered about writing... I guess 'discover' may not be the right word after all, since I seem to have let it slip away. But anyway, the truth is, I have writer's block... it's been horrible! I can't sit down and write, no matter how many tricks I employ to entice myself into staying in my chair and writing. So here's today's effort: it's a trick I learned from incredible book I once read. The idea is to limber up your mind by freeing it from its natural tendency to constrain your ideas. So you set the timer for ten minutes and you write for that amount of time. You start with a phrase like 'I remember...', and then go on and on, just writing without deleting or changing. If you get stuck, you just start again with 'I remember...' or the opposite, 'I don't remember'... the idea is simply to keep writing. At the end of the ten-minute period, you put it away and start on your real writing. But in my case, after the 10-min period, I'm going to go back and correct any typos or whatever (after all, it's my blog), so you will get the edited version of my rambling... Okay, here goes, except that tonight's opening is:

I want

I want a lot of things, though I can't exactly remember what I wanted yesterday or even two minutes ago. I want to be in a big open space and to be sitting on sand or maybe in a field that smells of orange blossoms. I want to roll in the grass and get dirty and not have it matter and not be worried about chiggers or ants or any bug at all. When I finish rolling around, maybe I'll sit up and take a look around. Even though I want many things, I suppose I ought to realize I'm not the only person in the world to be wanting something. Maybe I should stop and think about what other people might want or not want. Does it matter? Isn't this my own space? Don't I get to want something when it doesn't matter what anyone else wants since it's not like I'm going to get what I want anyway? What's the deal on that? What is wanting for that matter? You say you want something, but you probably hardly ever even know why! Do you? Really really why? You're out on the street looking in windows and thinking, 'oh I like those shoes, I'm going to try them on'. And they fit, so you say, 'well they're not too expensive and I have the money. I should get them. I can afford them, and I want them'. So you buy them. But did you really want them? Would you have wanted them if you had never been walking down the street and seen them in the window? Okay, well, that's one kind of wanting. Let's say it's spontaneous.. But there are other kinds of wanting. Think about when you make lists of things you want - maybe you call it your wish list. I have lots of those. I categorize them! I have a 'places to go' list, a 'things to do' list (not things I have to do, but things I want to do), a 'things to get' list (not necessarily to buy, but rather to obtain!), a 'things to find out about' list... etc. etc. I want many things and I know I'll never get them just by wanting them suddenly and then forgetting, so I make lists of them and then I go back over time and look at them and remember wanting them and decide if I still want them. Or maybe when I'm reading over my lists I'll realize that it's the perfect time to get/do some of those things now. So I'll concentrate on that and really get/do them and cross them off my list. And that - completing the circle of wanting by waiting it out and letting the want go through all its stages - is truly fulfilling! (and so is the feeling you get when you cross it off the list). I'm thinking about one of those lists right now. It's a places to see list. Now the truth of the matter is that I'm going to be traveling soon. I have a fixed destination in mind, but I am going by road, and I am going to be the driver, so I could in fact plan to stop along the way at all the places - or let's say at least a few of them - that are on my list. That would really be neat! I think I might do it! I can just imagine it. In fact, the first thing I must do is get a good map. Now, the question is, would you say I want a map or I need a map? Is there a difference? In short, what is wanting?

Beep - beep! Time's up!

okay, so the ten-minute writing was great! I might do it again sometime! Though please bear in mind: what you've just read is basically nonsense! The real writing is going to start now! (if I'm lucky)

Bike rides and Yes-Man

I promised myself I would blog tonight so here I am. I promised that I would write about the Sunday bike ride so here goes:

This being the rainy season, you take advantage of nice balmy days like last Sunday. You go outside and enjoy the fresh sweet air and you constantly look up at the sky, marveling at all the different shades of blue plastered with fluffy whiter-than-white clouds. You dive into the pure joy of all this, knowing that within a very short time, that summery blue sky will turn first grey, then black, the sweet warm breeze will disappear inside an ominous current of icy wind, those innocent masses of cotton candy clouds will bunch up ever darker and more foreboding. Both sides of the coin portraying Nature herself are fascinating to contemplate, but if you want to have an enjoyable bicycle outing, you need to do it before your summer day is washed away. Right?

Now, I woke up Sunday morning without the slightest intention of going for a bike ride. The day began in languid stresslessness; two cups of coffee, a bit of Internet dabbling, getting the wash lined up, breakfast and kibbutzing with kids, catching up on gardening and housecleaning, etc., etc., but somewhere around mid-day, I chanced to be outside on the front patio, feeling the warmth of the sun on my head, enjoying the soft breeze cooling the back of my neck and taking in the multi-blue-shaded sky where bright clouds drifted lazily as if to taunt the woman who was hanging out a load of wash, whereupon I stopped to reflect that that woman was me! How could I be pinning clothes to a line when I should be putting foot to pedal and riding off into that perfect day! Whereupon I zoomed into action, filling the clothesline in record time only to announce that I was riding to town to get fruits and veggies and did anyone want to go.

Sam kindly volunteered to pull my bike and his from the tangle of bikes we have stored in the shed Lu and Anto built last year. He conscientiously checked the chains and filled the tires, and even took test rides on both bikes to check steering and brakes (last time we rode was many months ago!). Still, enthusiastic as he was about my doing the trip, he wasn't convinced enough to come along with me!
Happily though, Monica expressed an interest in riding to town, so I had a partner for the trip. We got our water bottles and sunglasses, shopping backpacks and bike locks, and then I ran upstairs to get one more thing... for an experiment.

Experiment...???? Okay, let me explain.

Two weeks ago, I watched the movie "Yes-Man" with Jim Carrey. Now I don't even like Jim Carrey that much, and in fact, this particular movie didn't change my mind about him. But the movie did open my eyes to something new that I've since wanted to try. In the movie, the girl who JC later becomes involved with is a whacky character who follows her whims, one of which is to ride her motorcycle and snap pictures with her small digital camera along the way. She doesn't really aim or line up the picture she's going to take in any way, but simply tries to hold the camera steady, aimed in the general direction of what she wants to pictify and presses the button. Later on in the movie she starts a running group in which all the joggers do the same - run and take pictures along the way - photography in motion!

So this was my chance to see what would happen if I tried it on a bike ride. And here are some of the results. Random shots along the way - enjoy!