A little trip to the beach - Prior to Flu Fear

I'm not sure how to begin this. I don't want to sound irreverent, I just want to give kind of a farewell blog to Car. I hope you can understand my intentions and just go along with me on this. If not, stop whenever it goes against your grain.

When you've been living with your partner for 30 years, you kind of get to know them pretty well. When they tell you how they feel about certain issues like death and beyond and ask you to please respect their wishes, you say you will, just as they promise to respect yours if you go first.

So when Car said he wanted his ashes to be scattered in the ocean, I said I would do it.

And last weekend, I honored his wishes. In fact, we all did it together. It was Fned who said why wait, and she was right! After all, who knew when we'd all be able to be together again? And honoring Car as a family would be the perfect way to carry out his wish. We all felt it, and we all knew we might not have another chance anytime soon. So, to the ocean it was!

The trip went well. We all boarded our Eurocampervan, and it performed just as Car would have wanted - perfectly! As we hit the highway, I put in a CD of some of Car's favorite selections - Joaquín Sabina mainly, and the scenery flashed by to the rhythm of the music, accompanied by a mellow and nostalgic recapitulation of our life together. Sad, but very comforting somehow.

We reached our destination in the early afternoon, parking the van at our usual spot on the beach. I changed into my shorts and tank-top and headed out to the water immediately. It was a beautifully hot sunny day, and I felt that somehow Car was behind this lovely weather, showing us the beach at its best, to make up for the fact that our trips to that beach usually result in our arriving at the onset of a northern, or overcast skies and sudden rain!

As I floated, swam, and generally took my leisure in the ocean, I noticed a familiar sombrero-clad figure standing on the dune behind where our van was parked and I knew it was Mr. Soriano, the caretaker for that property. He befriended Car some years ago, when we arrived in the middle of a storm. He came out and offered us shelter and electricity for our van. Car was very grateful and invited him to one of our camp-cooked fish barbeques, and from then on, we've had a standing invitation to camp there whenever we come to the beach. Listening to Soriano tell the many experiences of his life is always entertaining, although you have to really keep your ears sharp to catch everything as he has quite a thick Jarocho accent!

I waved from my ocean bed, and then started back to shore. When I arrived, Soriano had already heard the news - or rather, he had deduced it, as he didn't see any sign of Car. He stayed to chat, fondly remembering Car, and we all sat around in our campchairs, and talked about what we'd come to do. At one point, I realized that our original plan of releasing the ashes under moonlight would not be an option as it was the night of a new moon! Soriano said sunset would be a good time and we agreed. Then he left us, saying he had to get back to work but he would try to come visit again before we left.

Meanwhile, we were feeling famished, so Fned got busy making tortas for everyone.

They were yummy! But after eating, we kind of each did our own thing for awhile.






While the others walked the beach, I decided to lie down for a short nap. Upon awakening, I heard their voices, looked out the door of the van, and saw them frolicking together in the ocean. I looked at the sky. The sun was on the wane, but it wasn't yet setting. I waved to them and they beckoned me to come in. Once I was with them, I felt so united in my family. There we were, pretty far out actually, just rocking in the slow-rolling waves... How long had it been since the last time I was with all of my kids in the ocean, just lolling in a haphazard circle and joking around, keeping our heads above each wave as it rolled in.
Suddenly, a little fish jumped clear out of the water right in the middle of our circle! We looked at each other and knew it was time. Not quite sunset, but yes, it was time.

By the time we finished with our ceremony, the sun was truly getting ready to set. We trooped out of the water, dried off and changed our clothes and met back in the van for a wine-and-cheese dinner.





Later we sat around talking about Car and our lives, and then taking pictures of each other, just because.




The next morning, we got up early and knew it was time to go back. Our lives were all waiting for us back in the everyday world and we had to get back to them. We got the van ready to go.



But before we left, we went back to the beach to take one last picture - our farewell family picture for Car.