Clarification!

Sorry, people, about the confusion you may have suffered from reading the last entry... I wrote it more as therapy for myself, so it wasn't really necessary to spell it all out, know what I mean? But now that it's over, I'll try to clarify the dilema:

I guess it all depends on what you think is more important: having your steady job bringing home the bacon, or putting yourself out there in order ot enrich your inner essence. That was the question I had to ask myself. Fact was, I had no trouble making the decision - I wanted to put myself out there! And where is "there"?

Well, about a month ago, I did a translation for a webpage about an incredible International mountain-biking race. It's taking place this month - a week-long trek from Veracruz, Veracruz to Huatulco, Oaxaca. I was interested in the race and when I sent my translation, I wished the organizers good luck and congratulated them on a fabulous itinerary. Next thing I know, I get an e-mail from the publicist for the event asking if I want to come along as a voluntary interpreter. They'd pay my traveling expenses and lodging and meals but that's all. Here's how my mind worked after the offer was made to me:
(me thinking with lightning speed): Wow! If I do this, I'll get to see the whole incredible route from Veracruz to Huatulco. I'll talk to people who are from all over the world and see how they feel about all sorts of things, from biking to the natural environments we'll be crossing, to Mexico in general, etc. I'll be sure to take pictures and.... DOUBLE WOW! I can work this into an article for the magazine! Then I can maybe make back some of the money I'll be losing from not working my regular week! Hmmm... sounds perfect!

Sooo, I don't know what any one of you would do, but I swear I DID NOT THINK TWICE: I wrote back right away saying, YES! YES! YES! CON MUCHÍSIMO GUSTO!!!

Naturally, I had to tell some people my plan and this is how their minds worked:
Translation boss: Well, that sounds neat, but you ought to get them to pay you! How can you go and be an interpreter for a week FOR FREE?? Think of how this will affect other translators who are trying to make a living at it!
me: But they didn't offer me a paid gig - they offered it as a volunteer with traveling, food and lodging expenses paid by them. And I want to do it, so the money would only be secondary anyway.

CAR's initial response: WHAT??? YOU'RE GOING TO GO OFF FOR A WEEK AND LEAVE ME WITH THE HOUSE AND KIDS AND EVERYTHING AND YOU WON'T EVEN GET PAID FOR IT??? RIDICULOUS!

kids' responses: cool... do it!

Those were the only people I mentioned it to at first... but time went by and at the beginning of the month I informed the School Chief that I'd need to be gone for a week. She said okay, but I'd need to find substitutes for my classes. So the day that we had to turn in our pay sheets calculating the hours we'd be working that month, I made arrangements for substitutes (no easy feat and more explaining to more people) and when everything had been tallied up, I realized that I would in fact be ending the month with a pretty low paycheck, but still... what the heck.

Driving home, I knew I'd still have to contend with CAR's objections, and just as I thought, he was in no frame of mind to accept the idea: WHAT???? YOU MEAN YOU'RE STILL GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS??? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE ASKING ME TO DO AND WHY YOU'RE ASKING IT! It's not like you're going to visit your family, something I can well understand. It's like you're going off to have an adventure and just forget about your responsibilities here.... He pointed out that I was being frivolous, unfair, putting him in a difficult position, etc. etc. I got pretty mad right back at him, but then I decided to call the organizers and feel them out about just what additional benefits - if any - I might be able to get by going on this trip. AND THAT'S WHEN THE TABLES TURNED!

Turns out that the gal who wrote me an e-mail invite never got it confirmed, so it wasn't even for sure I'd get my expenses paid (though she assured me there would be no problem about that)! Plus, the heads had told her that anyone who was going in that capacity (paid expenses) would have to work as part of the administrating staff - all day, every day. Since I am not on their staff, and don't even know anyone, that sounded rather daunting! What about getting to go on the biking route and take pictures and interview riders? And finally, when I looked up the event in the Internet, I saw that the staff would be working two more days than what I'd heard about. Since all staff would be traveling together, that meant I'd be there two extra days too - or else pay my way back home!

Hmmm, what to do? What to do? On the one hand:

1) I wanted to go, no matter what. I wanted to get that story and take those pics and see it all with my own eyes! (Deep down I knew I could find a way to do basically what I wanted once the show was on the road).

2) I had already made plans that included other people having to switch their schedules around to accommodate mine.

3) I had already turned in my paysheet which meant I'd have to go back and get that altered, and also get the substitutes' sheets altered.

4) I felt betrayed by Car's attitude. Where was the UN-macho man I thought I'd married?

BUT, on the other hand, if I insisted on going through with the plan, I would have to ask for two more days off at work which would be uncomfortable for the same reasons stated in 2) and 3) above, PLUS I'd still have to be waiting to find out if the gig was really confirmed, PLUS I'd have a mad husband!

Bottom line: I backed out... told the girl that as long as nothing had been confirmed, I was turning down the offer, sad as it made me to do so.

That was when I wrote the last blog... feeling horrible knowing I'd have to go to work the next day and explain and try to switch my schedule back, etc., etc.

As it turned out, everyone was quite understanding. I had written my chief an e-mail the night before to prepare her, and she was completely understanding and said no problem. The subs also said no problem about switching back.

So, the final question is: what have I learned from this experience? Well of course, the obvious: GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE YOU ACCEPT OR DECLINE AN OFFER! And also, DON'T GO MAKING CHANGES UNTIL YOU'RE SURE THEY'RE REALLY THE CHANGES YOU WANT!

Then there's the not-so-obvious lesson: THAT HUSBAND OF MINE MAY BE ORNERY BUT HE REALLY GETS ME TO THINKING! If he hadn't objected so strongly, I would have just gone along the way and met up with a rude reality that would have caused even more conflict for everyone. So, even though I'm pretending I'm mad at him just to make him suffer, I'm not really mad at all! Does that make sense? I keep marveling at how his bad attitude actually saved the day!

And finally, on a more personal level, I think that if I do get an opportunity like this in the future, I will try to take everyone's points of view into consideration before deciding, so I can try to get the best kind of deal for myself and for them so we will all be happy.

And guess what? This morning, in my first class, my student told me about an international swimming event coming up in the summer and said I ought to check out the possibility of being there as an interpreter! Could be that 'next opportunity', no?