Birthday Reflections

Okay, this is - in part - about my birthday.

My sister put it beautifully - she called this birthday the double 5. I like that reference to dominoes! If you play the way my Dad and grandfathers taught me to play, that's a pretty important "rock" (domino lingo for 'piece' or 'tile')! The double 5 is worth 10 points, or a dime, if you're playing for money.

So, getting back to my birthday, I'd say it was definitely a 10 in terms of quality... Everyone who really means something to me remembered me in some way on my birthday. Even people who had no need to do so wished me well, without my having said a word. To tell you the truth, I felt truly cared about and quite touched!

As for birthday traditions, however, I admit that I still haven't made the birthday cake! But I'd say tomorrow will be a good day for that, in order to have something homemade to offer when 3 out of the other 5 of my darling wanderers get here! Just hoping for safe trips for everyone and can't wait to see you all tomorrow night (and talk by phone to the ones who can't be here).

Oh and come to think of it, we should definitely play dominoes while everyone is here!!

BUT WAIT! The birthday reflections don't stop here! They didn't use to call me "Little Eddie" for nothing!!! What about Poppy Day??? NOW THAT'S A BIRTHDAY EVENT TO BLOG ABOUT! Dad, this one's for you!

I suppose most people would say a person born on Dec. 25th has got to be special. And that would certainly be the correct assumption when applied to EBS, who is such a very special person.

Here's a man, who, at the incredible age of 84 years young, is still the kind of man who thinks fast, has no fear, and saves the day!! (Remind me to tell the story of the RAT sometime). I am so proud to be the daughter of a man like that! I've lost count of all the things he's helped me - and my family - through, from lending a car, to signing papers, to lending money, to helping buy a house, to making phone calls to clear up, find out, or get information on a million different issues, to lending support in all sorts of bureaucratic procedures from drivers licenses to passports. And then there are all the family things he does for everyone, from questions on tax issues, to organizing picnics, poker games, a night out for Tex Mex or ice cream, to hunting down and killing gigantic cockroaches and contributing great Chanukah gifts (back in the days when working with a wholesale toy company was just about the best job a dad could have in the eyes of his growing daughters!).

A really special man is my Dad. And from what I heard - sorry I couldn't spend the day with the birthday boy in person - he celebrated in his favorite style in the company of his favorite person! So, just wanted you to know "Dear Old Dad", how much you are loved and admired by your kids and grandkids. Here's wishing you the best in the year to come and hoping to see you soon!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

I keep thinking I'm going to write a nice long blog - it's the holidays; I should be able to manage that, don't ya think??? But then I sit down at the computer, and I have no urge to write about anything. Or maybe it's more a case of: there's a lot going on, but I can't pin it down to one specific blog-theme... so let me just say what I would have ended up saying anyway: HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! If anyone has a good story to pass along about their holiday goings-on, please let me in on it! Meanwhile, I'll try to muster up and write a reflective end-of-year blog... at the end of the year.

Running Hard

The title here refers to a the title of a beautiful piece of music by Renaissance which you can actually see here, although it isn't as good as the pre-recorded version. I've been listening to Renaissance lately, since I recently re-acquired in CD format the three albums I used to have as LPs, and this particular title seemed very appropos. So that's how it's been for the past couple of weeks - running hard.

First of all, there was a lot of intensive studying for the big "Start 1 Offiziell Prüfung" which took up blocks of time I might have used for blogging. In between studying, I was also trying to establish a routine for running to practice and get in shape for the annual international marathon held here at the end of November.

I'm sorry to say I haven't yet been able to really sit down and concentrate on drawing something, but I did end up taking up knitting needles and yarn once again, after quite a few years. So now I've got a knitting project going on, though I can't say what it is since it's going to be a surprise.

I also passed the big German exam with "Sehr Gut", which is the highest grade you can get, unless someone manages to get a perfect score. However, during all those weeks of sitting before the monitor, trying to study or work for hours on end, I chanced to look up many a time at the sight above my eyes. Samo says it's human nature to get distracted... I'm sure he's right, but sometimes I think it just might be those wood fairies!



As for the marathon, that was quite a feat. It involved getting up at 5:30 am on a Sunday morning, stealing out of the house at 6:30 so we could be downtown at 7:00 for the race which started at 8:00. We left the car in a supermarket parking lot at the edge of town, and bus-rode it to the zocalo. Seeing 6th street completely deserted in the early morning was something I couldn't resist, even if I did scare a couple of pidgeons into flight!



We were there relatively early, but all that coffee I had drunk - couldn't give up my usual two morning cups, even on such a momentous occasion as a marathon - made a trip to the bathroom necessary. Samo said we'd never find a bathroom downtown at this hour, but I knew the marathon organizers would have taken precautions so that the 35,000 runners wouldn't be forced to pee in the street!!



By 8:00 a.m. the blocks leading down to the zócalo were crammed with people. Everyone awaited the signal to begin.




Then we were off! Together, Samo and I started off on our jaunt. Of course, there was no way we were going to do the whole 42 km. race, but we were at least determined to do what we'd signed up for - 5 km.



Naturally, Samo left me almost immediately, saying that I ran slower than a turtle. Still, I have to tell you, running in a marathon is really an experience everyone should have at least once in their life. All the people, taking off together, the things that go through your mind as you run, the things you tell yourself to keep from quitting, the way other people along the way can propel you to pick up speed and get through it just by yelling, "Keep it up! You're doing great" etc. I thought it was funny how, at the last bend of the road, there was a group of mostly young people, handing out water to the runners, and shouting in unison "SÍ SE PUEDE! SÍ SE PUEDE!" Reminded me of Obama's acceptance speech. But funny or not, it really worked! Because I could, and I did finish the 5 km. (someone told me later it was really 6 km.). And it only took me 1 hour!! Samo was waiting for me at the finish line, having arrived there himself a half hour earlier! "YOU DID IT!" we congratulated each other, as we received our certificates.




Moral of the story: if you decide to run in a marathon - even if it's only for 5 measly kilometers - don't be half-assed (like me) about training for it. If you don't take the training time seriously, you won't able to run 5 km. continuously - you'll have to run-walk-run-walk for at least half of the distance (like me) and it will take you twice as long to reach the goal.

If I were a Painter

You have no idea how often I dream of being able to paint something. Writing has always been my first love of course, but doodling and drawing is all part of the feel of pencil on paper so I do it often. I also add color whenever I have colored pencils, markers, or crayons around. But the problem is, whatever it is I manage to draw, with or without color, it's never what I really WANT to paint! Something like this:



If I were a painter, I would paint my world backwards and forwards, inside out and all around. I would paint the scene above and the one below and I would know how to reproduce exactly the right shades of color so they would be even more beautiful than the photographs - even more beautiful than when I stood there and took the pictures. As someone told me once, long ago, "Art is the lie that shows the truth".



Point of fact: I'm going to visit a "taller de dibujo" this Tuesday. Hope I can learn something to help myself become a painter. I know it's a drawing workshop - not a painting workshop - but maybe you have to start there.

Bilingualism and its Effect on Modern Family Life

The following is a follow-up to the group blogging topic of Bilingualism in expat couples. It is the first (unedited) draft of an article I wrote in 2005 for our school magazine. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of people, but their stories are true.

If you are like many people today, you probably think that speaking two languages well is a must for the future. But how does one go about bringing up children bilingually? What are the actual experiences of bilingual families?

Defining the term
Bilingual families, for the purposes of this article, are those in which the two parents have two different native languages – or have the same native language but also speak a common second language – and speak both languages to some degree with their children. The children in bilingual families grow up with knowledge of the two languages, and, in some cases, of the two cultures as well. Naturally, each family has its own way of dealing with bilingualism, and there are obviously many factors that come into play.

What the experts say
According to several articles I read when investigating the subject, it is very important for parents to decide beforehand just how bilingual they want their children to be. Will they be happy if their kids achieve a good level of listening comprehension in the second language, even if they don’t actually speak it? Will speaking and understanding the two languages – with one language being dominant over the other – be enough? Will they want their children to be literate in both languages? And finally, there’s the question of how far the parents are willing to go to help their children reach that level of bilingualism.

Bilingualism in families around us
With these tips in mind, I set out to discover how some families here in ***** cope with bilingualism. My first interviewee was Ted Banks. Born and raised in Utah, USA, Ted and his Mexican-born wife, Magda have three children. I asked Ted if they’d had a plan from the beginning to raise their children bilingually, and he said “yes, of course. Our plan has always been to speak English at home, unless we have visitors.” It isn’t always easy to stick to the plan however, because his wife’s native language is Spanish, and the children speak Spanish at school. When they are in public, he and his wife always speak Spanish, “except when we want to speak confidentially about something. Then we switch to English.”

Ted said that with his kids it’s not always easy. “Many times I speak to them in English and they answer me in Spanish.” I asked him how much of the two cultures his kids have absorbed, and he said that their knowledge of Mexican culture is very well-developed, but the American side perhaps needs reinforcement. “For example, they do all their reading in Spanish, which could be due to the fact that reading is something they see as forced, something required by school authorities.” On the other hand, Ted says his kids are perfectly comfortable surfing the internet and watching movies in English!

Finally, I asked Ted if the confusion between the languages had ever caused a funny incident and he told me that his youngest daughter once scolded him at the store for saying a bad word. It seems that when he asked her in English what she wanted, she answered him in Spanish, “Popohuates.” Ted said, “Popohuates? There’s no such thing! Don’t you mean, cacahuates?” Then she said very firmly, “SHHH, Daddy. You shouldn’t say ‘caca’!”

Another father’s experience
Tim Taylor says he came to Mexico from Canada some years ago because he wanted to leave the 1st world behind, and he embraced Mexico – the culture, the language – thankful “to get away from the materialism of life in a developed country”. He met and married a native of Veracruz, and began to make his living as an English teacher. However, at home they spoke Spanish, as his wife didn’t speak English. When I asked if he and his wife made a plan to raise their two sons bilingually, he said, no, there was never a conscious decision on his part to speak only English to them. At any rate, he believes that “fathers traditionally have less quality contact time with their kids than mothers. I was working long hours and when I got home, I wanted to feel really united with my family. When you’re a family, you’ve got to be all together. When both parents are not bilingual, it doesn’t work trying to maintain communication in the other language.” However, he says, his sons can speak good English now – though he doesn’t think they’ll ever be English teachers!
When I asked Tim if he ever felt at a disadvantage speaking with his kids in a language that wasn’t his native language, he said matter-of-factly, “Part of the package of parenting is knowing that it’s not easy. Communication problems happen even when a family is monolingual.” For Tim, patience is the key!

A completely bilingual family
My next candidate was Tom Hill, also from Canada, whose wife is from Mexico City. Tom says he met Maru when she went to take an intensive English course in his hometown, Toronto. “I was her teacher so right from the beginning, we established English as the language we would speak to each other.” When their daughters were born, they decided that Tom would always speak to them in English and Maru in Spanish. He and his family later moved to Mexico, where they have lived ever since. During the girls’ formative years, Tom says, “Maru and I were pretty strict about the bilingual rule, but once we felt that the job had been done, we slacked off.” When I asked Tom if his kids always responded to him in English, he said, “No, sometimes they answer in Spanish. But there’s never been any pressure on them to respond in one language or the other.”

I asked Tom about other ways he contributed to their bilingualism, and he said he always read them bedtime stories in English when they were little. Today both his teen-aged daughters are completely bilingual, even though they have never studied in bilingual schools. Finally, I asked Tom if there were ever any situations that made him feel at a disadvantage, being the “foreigner”. He said that sometimes in social situations he feels a bit at a disadvantage. He claims to be “quite witty” in English… whereas in Spanish, he misses many opportunities to make a witty response because he’s not as quick to think of one in Spanish.

From a subjective viewpoint
As further backup to this article, I decided to interview my own kids. I should warn you though, that as parents in a bilingual family situation, my husband, originally from Mexico City, and I – a native Texan – broke the cardinal rule that was stressed in the articles I read. We did not prepare our kids at all for a bilingual education. Nonetheless, all of our kids have eventually, and to different degrees, become bilingual.

In my own defense, I began with the good intention of speaking to the children in English, but I didn’t always have the opportunity, as I was living with my mother-in-law at first. When the older ones began public elementary school, they became very nationalistic and didn’t want to have anything to do with their American side. They wouldn’t speak English except when we were alone, and even then, only for a few minutes at a time. Eventually I took them to Texas for one school year so that they would be exposed to English for awhile. But after that year, we were back in Mexico for good. In the end, the children never fully embraced the language until they decided for themselves that speaking English was something to be desired, and this I feel is the key to becoming truly bilingual.

I asked my husband how his life has been affected by living with a woman from another culture and another language, and he answered that it’s not my culture or language that’s affected him, since we live in Mexico and speak Spanish with each other, but rather my personal lifestyle, which is sometimes drastically different from his. The interesting thing is that our children have developed cultural traits from both of us – being extremely independent as American kids are urged to be, yet being extremely family-conscious, as Mexican kids are brought up to be.

The following opinions are those of our kids’ in response to questions about being in a bilingual family:

Fran, 25, lives in France, where she is soon to be married to her Parisian boyfriend. After 3 years of life in Paris, she is by now pretty much trilingual. When I asked her (in one of our weekend internet chats) if she feels like she’s losing her roots somehow, she said, “No, I’m finally beginning to understand my roots.” The language she speaks with her fiancé: “Mostly French, especially around other people, but when we’re alone we tend to speak English.” Does she see herself living permanently in France? “No, not permanently. But then, we haven’t talked about where we want to live permanently. I mean, who’s to say what will happen in the future?”

Lu, a 22-yr-old philosophy major, said in answer to a question about being bilingual, “it’s not so much a question of speaking 2 languages, but rather living in English and living in Spanish. The grammar and syntax of each language affect the way life is experienced. Spanish can be more abstract than English, but English is more practical and empirical. It gets confusing if I’m speaking one language in a certain situation where I realize that I could express myself better in the other language… On the other hand, when you’re bilingual, you have the option of seeing things 2 ways – backwards and forwards.”

At my incredulous “¿¿WHAT??”, he gave this example: “In English you could start describing something without naming it until the end, i.e. ‘the gigantic red ball’, whereas in Spanish, you name the thing first and then describe it: ‘la pelota gigantesca y roja’. So you conceptualize things differently, depending on the language you’re using.” (Did I mention that he’s majoring in Philosophy???)

With Anto, who is 19 and out of High School, I got quite a different view on the subject. When I asked him if I could interview him, his answer was: “Okay, but show me the green paper. I don’t do interviews for free.”
Anto considers Spanish his native language, explaining, “I only speak English because my mom hassles me so much.”

He said that he never spoke English until he was around 8. “Before, of course I could understand English but I didn’t speak it ‘cause I knew I didn’t sound good in it. It’s like being autistic… you know something’s there in your mind, but you don’t know how to use it.”

Did he ever rebel against speaking English? “Yeah, like when my mom made me tell her the plots of movies in English. It was frustrating because I think faster in Spanish.”

What about advantages? “Well, yeah, like getting out of English classes and exams. But sometimes it’s not so great. Like when you have to recite a poem in English in front of everyone. They all think you can do it because you’re supposedly bilingual, but you don’t feel so sure about that…”

As for advantages and disadvantages of the two languages: “With Spanish, you can express yourself more sentimentally. Spanish is a romantic language.”
And English? “I hate the way you don’t spell the words the way they’re pronounced. I much prefer reading in Spanish, but maybe if my mom had made me read and write in English every night when I was little, things would be different…”

Chloe, 14 and presently in Jr. High, said that she couldn’t remember when she started speaking English, but that the reason was “to speak to my mom’s family.” According to Chloe, “English is harder than Spanish. I can’t remember how to conjugate the verbs correctly every time.”

Does she read in both languages? “Yeah, my mom is always giving me books to read in English. Once we had this poem by Lord Byron in Spanish class. So I had to read the original poem out loud in English and another girl read it in Spanish. It was a poem comparing the night with a woman, really nice in both versions. I also read Harry Potter in Spanish and English, but I liked it better in English. Maybe because it was the original language… I don’t know… it was just ‘funner’ in English. So after that, I read Harry Potter 2, 3 and 4 in English.

Does anything bother her about being bilingual? “Yeah! It’s horrible – weird – when I have to speak in English with my mother around my friends. They think it’s cool, but I always feel really uncomfortable.”

How about the good side? “Well it’s nice to be good in English class, and in the future, it’ll be easier. I mean English is the most spoken language in the world – after Chinese – and Spanish is the third language. So if you speak English and Spanish, you’ve got a good start!

Until recently, our youngest son, Sam, 11, was still hiding in the bilingual closet! I was so tired of hearing him say things like: “This is Mexico. In Mexico, you speak Spanish!”, that I took him with me for a few months to English classes so he would have to express himself in English at least for a few hours a week!

As a final observation, I’d like to say that I agree with Tim, who pointed out at the end of our interview: “Throughout most of the world, being bilingual or trilingual is nothing exceptional. When you come to think of it, it’s actually odder to see a country today that is basically monolingual.”

How bilingualism works in this relationship

When I came to Mexico thirty years ago, I didn't speak a word of Spanish. Well, I could say "gracias", and "baño", and maybe a few other words, but that was about it. I thought I was going to "pick up the language" while I was there, but I was three months into my traveling around before I met people who didn't speak English and weren't really intent on trying to practice what little they knew. (My future husband was one of those people, though he didn't figure into my life in a personal way until two years later).

When I began learning Spanish it was like this: I accepted an invitation to live for three months (the rest of the time allotted to me on my visa) with a family in Mexico City. The young people in the family consisted of three sisters and 4 brothers. We would talk one-on-one with a dictionary between us and we'd get the main gist of our conversation by using keywords which would be looked up in either Spanish or English depending on who was thinking of the word. Once the meaning was clear, the conversation would continue in Spanish. English was a reference for me, but not the language of expression in any conversation. And I wanted it that way.

I jumped into my life in Mexico and there were no ifs ands or buts about accepting everything - including the language. I didn't want to speak English. I wanted to speak Spanish. I wanted to feel that I was really Mexican. Now I realize that it's a natural human longing to feel accepted by the society in which you live and that's probably why I was so determined to speak Spanish and adopt many new ways of acting and reacting, new perspectives on old issues; in short, I was able and willing to become a new minshap; I'm not kidding - many people have actually told me something to that effect, like: "you're sweeter in Spanish". Or, "you seem so different when you speak English".

In addition to the above, once I began really hanging out with my partner, he probably wouldn't have seen the relationship as something to be pursued if I had insisted on English being part of the deal. And in fact, I should mention from the start that one of the things that originally impressed me about my partner, was his vocabulary. I was eager to learn the language, but being an expressive person myself, and having a large vocabulary which I love to make use of in English, I yearned for a good model for increasing my Spanish vocabulary. The first time I listened to my partner expound upon an idea that came up (by then I was speaking Spanish "más o menos" as they say), I fell in love with his eloquent use of words.

So that was my side of how we began. On his side, I've always known that one of the things he loves most about me is the way I could become part of his world and not drag mine into it. This is not to say that I don't bring my views and opinions and ways of doing things into our lives on a constant basis - of course I do this. But I do it without expecting him to swallow all of it in English. I do it in his language. And I know that many of those US-isms spark up, enliven, give food for thought, and generally refresh our relationship all the time.

Thus, a pattern emerged from the beginning. Spanish was the language we spoke to each other. And we were pretty puritan about it. I couldn't stand not being able to find the word I wanted to say in Spanish and would badger him until I got the precise word, or I would interrupt the conversation to get the dictionary and look it up. We didn't do things like say a whole sentence in Spanish with one word in English interjected because there was no Spanish equivalent. There was always a Spanish equivalent!

But that was then. That was before our kids came along. Then there were new dilemas to contend with. I wanted to speak English with them, and did so to a certain extent - especially with fned, who was a toddler when we went to live in the US for one year. But when we came back to Mexico and Lu was born, I was living with my MIL and she didn't speak English. So I spoke more and more Spanish with my kids and it kind of became the language at home for them. Whenever I wanted to speak English, they would insist that I switch to Spanish and for many years I did.

Fifteen years ago, I began teaching English where I now live and work. Although I'd been teaching English all along for the previous 15 years, this was the first time that I spoke the language so extensively throughout the day. In my present working environment, I speak English with most of my colleagues and always only English with my students, in or out of class. Somehow, this started to spill over at home, and culminated in my writing an article in the school magazine about bilingual families. By then, my kids were growing up and actually WANTED to speak English. They were starting to have bilingual friends and realized that English could actually come in handy. So, I started speaking English with them more and more and lo and behold, my partner started to get in on the act!

Of course, he's always been able to speak some English, but his accent is pretty exaggerated and he tries to get away with breaking as many grammar rules of English as he can. But nowadays, we often throw in English expressions as we speak. Sometimes I feel that my Spanish has suffered from not being used so constantly and because I've relaxed about trying to find a way to say EVERYTHING in Spanish. Nowadays, if I don't find the word I'm looking for, I have no compunction about saying it in English and expecting everyone else to just "get it" in English.

LINKS TO THIS POST: GROUP BLOGGING on bilingualism in expat couples

We won - but what does that imply?

I was watching it from the sidelines, so to speak. Listening to each new piece of news on the candidates, tuning in to the countless videos about this one or that one saying this or that against their opponent.

I saw the debates and began to feel passionately sure that Obama was what the country needed!

And I wasn't the only one. We were all feeling like that! We saw the outcome of the election going to the Democrats as the possible turning point in history - we saw Obama as our Leader.

So now - he's won! We've won! And what does that imply for the future? Will we begin to see an end to war in the Middle East? Will the damages to our environment be reckoned with and overcome? Will Obama reach leaders of other countries around the world so that we can all unite and fix our planet?

Much remains to be seen. But at any rate - it's a start! And for now, that implies a new beginning that we can all take part in!

Déjà vu

A couple of weeks ago, two things happened at work that I thought about a lot, but didn't get a chance to talk over with anyone else to see if they found a similar significance in the events or if I was just blowing them out of proportion. Tonight, however, while reading fned's blog, I felt a definite sense of déjà vu and simply had to blog about the parallels in her experiences and my own.

Fned states:
"I recall a few months ago reading a monthly report sent by a British manager to his French boss. The mail was detailed but not overwhelming in description, contained praise and recrimination where called for; mentioned areas for improvement and pinpointed subjects that needed to be addressed before they became problems. I remember thinking « Wow! What a great report! It provides all the necessary information and yet remains simple and clear for someone who’s not on hand locally ».

In my case, it happened like this:
One of my students needed to write up a presentation his boss would make at an international board of directors in English. So we used the class to do it and we came up with what I thought were three very powerful slides. They were "detailed but not overwhelming in description, mentioned areas for improvement and pinpointed subjects that needed to be addressed before they became problems."
That was on a Friday.

Fned continues:
The French boss later forwarded that same report to his own Boss after having deleted 75% of the text, keeping only the strictly essential of the message (past events, new developments, next steps) all in a series of concise and brief bullet points.

In my case:
The next Monday, my student greeted me by showing me the final version of his presentation, which his boss had gone over and "forwarded to his own Boss after having deleted 75% of the text, keeping only the strictly essential of the message (past events, new developments, next steps) all in a series of concise and brief bullet points" in a single slide.

PRETTY CLOSE!

Fned contends that she can't help "feeling that somewhere in that example was a very subtle indication of the differences in how corporate information is conveyed from one country to the other."

In my case (a situation of Americans, Mexicans and Germans working together), I thought, hmmm, it must be an international phenomenon... the higher up you go, the more concise the information must be...

But no matter how you see it, it does seem that the highest level of an international corporation will never really be abreast of the realities they are facing. By the time they get the information, it is so edited that they never really see what the people who are actually working on those projects are facing. Makes me wonder!

The other event was what fned described as "how the first person is used (or not used) in communicating." She gives the example of English speakers using the first person "I" or "we", thus implicating the person in the message. She says that the French use "on" which could be interpreted as "we" but not necessarily including the person actually communicating the message!

I would like to add that Spanish speakers have an even more ambiguous way of getting around pointing the finger. In Spanish you can use "se" to say that something "was done", without shedding light on who actually did it. This of course is the passive voice and is used in English too, but sparingly! Key information needs to be more precise. You might say: IT WAS DECIDED that... but only if you begin with something like: WE had a meeting, during the course of which it was decided that...

In Spanish you can start by saying: A meeting was had, and it was decided that... and we are left with a question in our minds as to WHO HAD THE MEETING????

As a translator, I have battled with this issue time and again. Sometimes I have to call a client to ask for clarification on the who, what and where of things because of what I perceive as rampant (ab)use of "se".

In conclusion, I have to agree with fned that it gets really tricky when you want to translate meaning from one language to another!

Pictures by request

The trip was lovely so here are some pictures!

First Jeanne picked me up at the airport and we went to Lulu's Jailhouse Cafe. She'd heard they have the best homemade southern cooking, and they sure did!



Note those huge chicken fried steaks, the mashed potatoes and fried okra - not to mention the homemade rolls!!! WHOA!



After stuffing ourselves and still having to ask for doggie bags - how could we ever have finished all that food? - I told Jeanne I was going to need a nap so we found a place along the highway where a river runs through, spread out a blanket and got some shut-eye under a shady tree...




It was very nice, but in the end, we had to check out that water and it was cold!! DELICIOUSLY COLD and crystal clear. The picture doesn't do it justice, but I couldn't take any pictures when I was actually in the water. This was right before we decided to change into shorts and jump in!



After the swim, we continued the way until we arrived at the rendezvous point with my sibs and went to see Drew play in his band! They were really rockin'!



And we rocked with them in our own fashion!!





Finally we got to the home of our wonderful padres and naturally, one of the first things we had to do was sit down and play some Mah-Jhong! (spell it anyway you like... this is the way I spell it!)



The next morning we were up early and decided to get in some exercise before going to our cousins' house for lunch.



It was a good thing we did take that trek... Lunch was out of this world!!



And we even got in a good cousins picture!!!



The next day was the big birthday bash! It started with some earings...



From there it went on to all sorts of gifts until the birthday girl was just surrounded by gifts!



But then it was time to get ready for the surprise lunch, and was it ever FABULOUS!We had arranged a lunch at the hotel where Mimi first worked 60 years ago. The hotel was so impressive. Mimi says it's changed a bit over the last 60 years! Here you can see the entrance to the dining room (I had the buffet and it was all so mouthwateringly delicious...)



Guess there are no pictures of our meal, because we were too busy eating it! However, we did get this gem of the birthday girl blowing out her 80th candle on a couple of yummy eclaires!

For my Mother on her Birthday

Time moves. Whether you understand that to mean that time itself moves, or that time moves us, the fact of the matter is that from one moment to another, things change. I like to think that Life is a circle. You can look at Life however you want, but I see it as being circular. So that as time moves, it takes us around and back to ourselves. (the wheel of time?) We may go around more than once. The circle may become concentric or expanding, but we are always going round and round.

So, let's look at the number 80. That's a pretty circular set of digits. There's the zero, the big one, and there's an eight, which is made up of two circles. Is there any divine meaning in the number 80 with reference to Life then? Perhaps not. Maybe the meaning is more symbolic, the number for today. Because today, this very day - the meaning is clear: Happy 80th MOM! This one's for you.

The circles in the number of your years make a lot of sense when I think of you Mom. The two circles in the 8 symbolize your movement as wife and mother. You can draw it as two separate circles, or you can draw it in zigzag fashion, like two "s"s back to back. In your case, I'd say definitely zigzag, because you've always managed to keep us all intertwined. Back and forth, to and fro, we all move around and with each other. As we've grown with time, the zigzagging lengthens out and slows down, but it always unites and seamlessly comes together, and that's how I see you Mom; a woman who has always united the parts of her life into a perfect unit of completeness.

But wait - do you think I'm assuming that a woman only exists as wife and mother? No, no! Don't forget the big 0. The circle of Life! That one goes around and around, as we travel around inside it. In my Mother's case, it goes smoothly and with grace and balance. That's the Libra in you Mom! And the circle itself is HUGE! It has always tended to expand rather than contract. Your zest for life has kept you from limiting your circle. It's made you open to learning, becoming, enjoying new experiences, and to encouraging others to learn, become, enjoy new experiences, and applauding us when we do!

It's hard to put into words all the love and wonder I feel, how blessed I know I am, whenever I think about my mother; how I relish the fact that she is my mother. From the time I was little, I always knew she was a special mother. And today, I must say, after listening to my kids' reflections on the topic, that there's definitely a ripple effect: "Mom-ness" effortlessly expanding into "Mimi-ness"!

So here's to you Mom. I am so thrilled and honored to be here with you and my Dad and my sibs on your 80th to celebrate all our love for you and our best wishes for a wonderful, happy happy birthday!

Shivering with anticipation!

I am shivering! Literally! I'm sitting here drinking a concoction I made up of rum and mango juice! Just trying to calm myself down! HOW THINGS DO HAPPEN!!!

FIRST: My working schedule will soon be cut down!
I've been wanting to cut down on my working hours. I realize that with the world coming to an end in Financial crises that will sooner or later reach us too, this is probably not a wise move, but I just had to set things in motion. On Friday I learned that as of our next bimester - starting in 10 days - my hours will be drastically reduced, as I had requested. I was filled with a mixture of excitement and dread! Can we really afford to live on less?

SECOND: Someone might buy my car!!!

I have to sell my car. I love my car. It's a Crossfox and it's the funnest thing I've ever driven in my life. I drive a lot anyway, but with this car, I LOVE going places. But it's not really my car, you see. The company lets me rent it for a year, but now the year is up, and I either have to sell it, or turn it in. They made us a sweet deal if we sell our cars this time, so I put some ads in different online car-sales pages, and tonight, I GOT A CALL!!! I'm so excited - and filled with dread too! I'm not good at selling things! I hate having to "talk up" the thing I want to sell... but the guy who called was really nice, and when he laughed at my evident inexperience at selling over the phone, I responded by saying that the truth is, I don't really want to sell the car. I love it too much! (Maybe that could actually be a good strategy!)

THIRD: A publishing company may be interested in publishing my book!!
I have been trying to get my book published. I signed on with some online agents, who've been super nice and kept in touch, but nothing came up - UNTIL TONIGHT! A few minutes before the prospective buyer of the Crossfox called, an e-mail came in saying that a publishing company may be interested in my book!!! Now that was totally unexpected (did I mention that it's been 10 months since I signed on with the agency?) In fact, I was still going over the whole format that I would have to fill out if I want to try to publish thru this company when Samo called me to the phone to deal with the potential car-buyer!!!

FOURTH: I am going to fly to Texas in five days!!
I need to start getting my act together! We're going to celebrate my mother's 80th birthday and my sibs and I are all excited about doing this. But it seems like the date is getting closer and closer and I need to think clearly and get stuff ready for my trip! (here I pause to take another gulp of my mango-and-rum!)

FIFTH: We have lots of tomato plants!!! Not to mention peas, lettuce, cilantro, basil, and epazote...

A couple of months ago, I was determined to get my tomato garden growing, but it turned out that I mistook the tiny plants coming up for weeds, and PULLED THEM OUT!!!
I know that now, because, when I never got any tomato plants, I decided to try again in planter boxes, and now THEY'VE ALL COME UP!!! In fact - I've got way too many for those planter boxes and will need to do some serious transplanting when I get back from my trip.

SIXTH: Bella's on the mend!

A few days ago, I noticed that poor Bella - our 6-yr-old Labrador - seemed to be in agony. She has very sensitive skin and has had all sorts of problems over the years, but always before - Anto was here to tend her. But now he's off on his venture and I've got to do it, but I always seem to be pulled 7 different ways, so, though I knew I would soon have to deal with Bella's dilemma, I was letting it slide. This morning however, as I was cruising along on my way to get fruits and veggies, I spotted a roving Veterinarian. I jumped out of the car and waved him down. I asked if he made rounds to people's houses, and he said yes. He agreed to make a stop at our place that afternoon. Turned out she needed THREE SHOTS, and one more tomorrow, plus a good bath with a certain shampoo, plus another back-up pill she'll be taking for awhile... I feel good that she'll be better soon - but I hope Car and Samo will remember to give her her meds and take good care of both her and Nemo while I'm gone.

SEVENTH: I have to turn in two big translations this week!
I'm sposed to be working on that stuff NOW!!! What am I doing here blogging away???? SHIVERING!!! (but not so much, now that I've finished my mango-rum cocktail which was absolutely DELIISHHHHHUS, btw).

Happy Birthday to Sam the Man!

With it officially still being his birthday, I'd like to devote this blog entry to Samo. Sam the Man.

So Sam, it's finally your turn! Hard to believe that 15 years have gone by since you joined our family. Sometimes you lament the fact that by the time you got in on the act, the family had slowed down its pace as far as those restless traveling years. This may be true, but on the other hand, when you think about it, you've been lucky to have so many older sibs who doted on you from the moment you came into the world. You've been carried around in so many loving arms, you've had more support than any of your older sibs - which I realize could also be seen as more people trying to tell you what to do!

But look how you've come out of it, now that you're a high school student: here you are, with more criteria and a broader understanding about life and human nature than many I'll bet, since you've had examples of all types of personalities, and attitudes, as well as a variety of human strengths and weaknesses to examine during your growing years. It's made you a very discerning person, someone who can see things others miss because they're usually focused on only one dimension, whereas you have a sort of 3-dimensional way of looking at things - in, on, and around!

Of course that could be partly due to the fact that you're a Libra - a sign which fits you perfectly. Balance - that's what you're all about!

And you know, that goes for the physical (the way you're a "natural" at any sport you take on) as well as the mental and emotional levels. I know we sometimes get on your back when you react too feverishly about something ("la vena! la vena!" remember?), but most of the time, you're the one who keeps the rest of us in line!! How many times have two or more of us been in an intense debate over an issue accelerating to the level of potential explosion, only to be brought back to earth with one of your perfectly centered observations. You are blessed with insight and irrefutable logic and those are two wonderful things to have!

When you were younger, I remember writing you a birthday message in which I likened you to a private detective. You would find things others believed lost, or you knew where something was when someone was looking for it - even if there was no reason why you should have known. You just seemed to always observe the order of things and file it all away in your mind so that when others needed information pertaining to one thing or another, you would have it! Over the years, you've developed that asset even more and have stepped in to become someone Car and I truly count on. We love knowing that our "baby" is a go-getter and always ready to help when needed.

Happy Birthday, dearest son of mine! Thank you for filling my life with all your zest and energy and letting me be part of your explorations... by bike, through music, with English; you've shown me that you can persevere through it all... do you realize how far you've come?

Now all you've got to do is be ever ready and willing to reach for your goals as they appear! That's my wish for you.

By the way, if you're thinking that one of those goals is driving, please take pity on me and be gentle... At least you get to start up the engines and warm them up! We've got a whole year to get to the point of solo driving, right?

Birthday for a dreamer

Today's Lu's birthday. He isn't here to celebrate it with us, but I'm sure he's celebrating the event in his most preferred style - at the beach, windsurfing, hanging out with some very special people all day, perhaps making and sharing shrimp cocktails or some such seafood delight while listening to some great music in his combi. That's how I envision him anyway. From what he said when he called last night, the weather has been cooperating where he is, seemingly to be able to give him his true birthday wish! And if such is not to be, he'll be OKAY with whatever does happen.

So Happy Birthday Lu Len. This one's for you:

I remember when you were conceived, can you believe that? Yep, we were in Texas and had just gotten over a separation. Your dad played a trick on me and it worked and I had to return to him and the next thing I knew it was the xmas season and we were back together, though shakily, and then I was pregnant, and your dad was dubious about the wisdom of having another kid, until I told him after a couple of days that I knew it was a boy. From then on, he was all for the pregnancy, believing me in my total certainty that you were going to be a boy!

I know your name came out kind of strange - your first and middle name make up such a turbo-charged combo. They're each packed with history and significance - and maybe together, they have had some influence in turning you into the person you've become. Let's analyze this.

Your first name is for the first name of your paternal grandfather - though when you think about it, that wasn't really his first name at all! But he adopted it, just as he adopted the whole being behind the name. So you're carrying that in your personal history and maybe it's had something to do with the way you have tried on different personalities, ideas, styles, etc. throughout your life so far.

But let's not forget your middle name - after the person who's life and work made such a difference in the world as we know it today. The creativity of his overwhelming, wide-sweeping musical approach had much to do with the 60's consciousness-raising intentions to save the world! Could being his namesake make you prone to absorbing his philosophy, musical awareness, anarchistic disregard for convention, and total immersion in love?

Whatever the reasons that have come together to make you who you are, the fact of the matter remains that you are one unique individual, someone who lives on the outskirts of the norm, poised at the edge of reality, submerged in the "what if?" of Life's possibilities, attuned to both the blatant and the subtle elements of music, art, and taste buds, ever-attentive to the fine line between inflexibility and possibility when it comes to questions of mechanics, electricity, and the sciences.

On first sight, many have noted a physical likeness to Jesus of Nazareth. Others simply find you attractive, though "hippy-ish". Your sibs criticize you for your lack of interest in grooming and choice of apparel. But underneath your clothes (as Shakira would say) you are quite a man. Maybe later on, you'll develop self-pride in your physical appearance; at any rate, who am I to fault you on your complete disinterest in the subject when you probably got it from me?!

Throughout your school years, you were boy wonder. Yesterday, I was looking for a paper I needed, and I found a whole folder of your certificates and diplomas, and marveled at some of them: Award for 'Student of the Year' in kindergarten! First in the city in an electronics project in Jr. High, first in the zone in science, best average of your grade, etc., etc. Somewhere along the way, you became disillusioned with school... maybe it was the year that you went to that parochial school.

And then, you entered the university, full of fascination for philosophy. What turned you against it? Was it really the fact that there was nowhere to go with such a degree, or that the faculty and the student body kept shrinking semester after semester? Or were you afraid of having to actually decide on and write a thesis? I can understand that - it must be mind-boggling to have to write a thesis on something related to philosophy!!! I mean, philosophizing on paper over philosophical questions has got to be one of the scariest prospects imaginable, in terms of theses. It could lead to an interminable amount of writing!!!

So you didn't finish school - you opted for deep reading on your own time, while looking for something else to do as your main activity. And you never lacked for projects!! Remember the windsurf board that you studied about, engineered, built and used? Remember the photography phase, where you took some incredible shots around these parts, and of people you knew, and then studied them and tried to get to a more professional level? Most of all, remember all the projects you carried out around the house and on the different vehicles?

Speaking of vehicles, this latest project of yours - your Lety dream-van - really took it out of you. I couldn't believe it when you brought her home for the first time - a totally useless old combi that would need more work than anyone would ever want to have to do to make her serviceable again. But you were adamant, and you actually did end up driving her!!! You worked like a slave or like a blind worshipper over her, and before you left, she was running!

So what do I wish for you LuLen? I wish you a life that is always filled with ideas and projects and dreams; I wish for you good talks, good wine, good deeds and good vibes among good friends. I wish for you a new insight into what you yourself want for the future. Most of all, I'm just grateful that I've gotten to have you in my life these past 26 years. Loving you and having your love have made the day-to-day something extraordinary and not to be taken lightly.

Before I close: some special LuLen moments:
One of your first words - when you were only 2 years old, being able to recognize and separate the VW Bug from any other car and denominating it: the "Tíjilil".
Following Car around whenever he was doing engine work and learning how to handle tools (one of which you dropped down the patio drain) when you were 3.
Running around the house EVERY DAY between 4 and 5 in the afternoon, making motor sounds and rambling on and on with a whole spiel about: "La mesa es la novia del Meso", "El Plátano es el novio de la Plátana", etc. etc....
Making that film documentary (spoof?) of our household that had us all practically peeing in our pants, especially when you opened the door to CLo's room!
The time you fixed the carburator on the drive up from Yucatán with the help of a Trucker I flagged down (I think you were about 11).
Learning how to drive so that you could be Car's driver at age 14.
Making all those weird noises - animal farm style - and being able to quote any line at random from any movie you've seen.
I could go on and on, but I'll save some stuff for next birthday.

Have a happy birthday LU and many many more!

Decision by Intuition - how does that feel?

Yesterday morning at the Language School, the subject turned to decision-making. I was doing this particular dynamic with one of my tutorials: a business-related maze in which the student organizes an event on the basis of decisions made from beginning to end of the planning process, and the resulting success/failure of the event is determined by points scored from each decision made along the way. I had already done the same dynamic in about 5 or 6 other classes, and in each case, the student in question had their own reasoning process for coming to their conclusions, which inevitably created some differences in the options they chose and the scores they got at the end.

This particular student, a young woman named Emma, really impressed me with the way she made her decisions. She would read the four options for resolving each dilemma, think for a moment and then quickly say "A" or "C" without explanation. So of course, this being an English class, I would ask her why she chose that option, and each time, her analysis of the situation included a new slant on what others had stated in their analyses. In one particular case, the reasoning behind the option she had chosen, which was one that most of the others also chose, was completely unique and downright exciting to see.

Suffice it to say that she ended up racking up the most points I'd ever seen and the results showed her to be excellently skilled at pulling off an extremely successful event. So I asked her how she came to her decisions and she answered, haltingly (because she still needs more confidence and help with the correct grammatical structures to express herself well) but in very comprehendible terms, "I have learned over time to listen to my intuition when I need to take a decision."

"Intuition? What's that?" I asked. "Well I feel it right here," she pointed to the area of her diaphragm, "a kind of ... inside" (she made spidery movements with her fingers against her diaphragm). My eyes opened wide and I said, "I don't have that!! I've never had that feeling. I've never understood what intuition is, although my husband is always talking about his power of intuition."

At this point, she explained that, according to her understanding of the human brain, left-hemisphere-dominant people (like this student and my husband) are usually more prone to planning and keeping things scheduled and in order, while right-hemisphere-dominant people (like me) are more spontaneous (prone to chaos??). That's why left-brain people can usually feel their intuition coming into play.

"Oh, so that's why I don't have any intuition," I lamented sadly. "Not necessarily," she said, eyes sparkling (she really is a beautiful woman). "Maybe it's simply that we left-brainers have to stop to listen to our intuition, while you right-brainers live by your intuition. That's why you don't feel it kicking in. It's a permanent fixture!"

"WOW!" I said, and was speechless with all the new input. In fact, I'm still contemplating the whole idea! Guess it depends on what you believe as far as right/left hemisphere traits, the dominance of one or the other in people, the concept of 'intuition', etc. All I can say for sure is that, when it comes to making decisions, I always try the different tricks I've learned to help me through the process, and none of those tricks include intuition. My one aim is not to regret whatever I decide, though I've got to admit that there are some decisions that I do end up regretting (and that's a topic for another blog entry)!

Maybe I just need to understand the concept of intuition better!

About Blogging

Two things happened. One: I was IM'ing with CLo and asked her if she'd read my blog lately. Since she hadn't, I sent her the link. Later she called and as the conversation turned to my blog - which by then she'd read - I asked her what she thought about the comments, whereupon she said, " Oh I never read the comments." Whereupon I said, "WHAT?? YOU HAVE TO READ THE COMMENTS!" - I mean, ¿¿don'tcha??

It happened that way for me as a matter of course! I started w/Fned's blog. She let the family know that she had started a blog and sent us the link, so of course, I immediately checked it out. As I read that first entry, I naturally clicked on comments, and voilá! I found other bloggers. And so I clicked into their blogs. And from there, I found other bloggers.

Does this sound like I spend a billion hours a day blog-surfing? Actually, I don't. What I do is check my own and Fned's practically daily and if that's all I have time for, that's it. But whenever I have a moment, between translations, or other computer activities, I click on one of the blogs that I've bookmarked - blogs that I found through the comments sections of Fned's and other blogs; blogs that I've been wanting to read but haven't had time for... till now!

I don't know how other bloggers have built up their blog-life, but that's how I've done it up to now. I love getting a chance to scroll through certain blogs. For example, there's the Cancun Canadian who almost always blogs about something worth thinking about or worth doing something about - or both! I don't always comment cause she has a huge following already and someone usually says whatever I would have said in a comment... or sometimes, when I do leave a comment, it's on a previous entry that might or might not be relevant to her at the moment, but is to me. There's a miss chriswho just awes me with the way she writes about things - her feelings about life and what it's all about are very akin to mine. I love to read her blog, though I don't get to it often. Whenever I do go there, I inevitably leave a comment, although once again it's not always on a current entry. There's Ale whose blog is so fun to read. She writes well in Spanish or English! She has a lot of spunk, great wit, and I like catching up on what's going on with her. There are some blogs that I've found that are real specialty-area blogs. Interesting reading for sure!

Then there's the phenomenal thing that happens when you kind of get to know someone from a process of mutual blogging and commenting. This happened with Theresa in Mérida who calls her husband Husband, and her dog Mr. Dog... I get a great kick out of that. She has a lot of wit when she writes and I like following all her thoughts and ideas... she has a pretty big following too, so when I get to the comments section, I sometimes find my comment was already made by someone else!

As to the other thing that happened (I said there were 2): turns out that Fned's Super-Hub has started his own blog. I read it and was really IMPRESSED!! What wit! What irony! What a fresh view told with imagery and style! So I said as much to Fned on her blog - where she had introduced her hubby's new blog. She, being in total agreement, explained his emergence into the blog world by saying, "He finally figured out what he wants to blog about!"

That comment surely got me thinking! When I started blogging, I had no idea what I wanted to blog about! I simply thought, well, okay, I'll write whatever I feel like writing about, and people will comment and I'll answer them. I didn't really expect a lot of response, but just thought it would be fun to see what other people thought about things I think about or things I experience. However, I slowly realized that blogging means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and they take it seriously! See Fned's blog on blogging (and the comments section too)!

One of those things they seem to feel seriously about is getting and giving comments. Here, I'm a bit confused. Is there some kind of unspoken rule about having to make comments, or about what kind of comments you can or can't make? I get the idea that bloggers all applaud each other for whatever their blog is about that day. But what about the other side?? I mean, total agreement can be a bit repetitive, don't you think, or am I just being ornery?

So should I not be blogging? On the other hand, don't I have the right to blog? And why should I have to leave a comment on a blog I've read if I have nothing to say or if someone already said what I would have said?

Well anyway, I guess I'll stop here... as you can see I still have a lot of unanswered questions about blogging. In fact I don't think I've even answered the two I started out to answer!!!

Happy Birthday to a girl who's reached her Lucky Year!

This one's for Fned - she's the first-born of her sibs and she's finally turned the age of her birthdate, so this is her lucky year! When you consider the road she's traveled so far, the possibilities - in terms of luck - reach epic proportions!

In tribute to my daughter, I'd like to take a walk through my field of Fned memories because the truth is, since she's so far away, whenever I think of her, I see her in my mind's eye as a series of superimposed images - from the young woman Fned all the way back to the new-born baby who fit head-to-toe into her Dad's hand and forearm (gotta find my picture of that!).

From the beginning, she got a chance to see the world: like the time we went walking with her to the UNAM when she was 4 days old because we wanted to take my sister who had come to visit us and who was deep in the throes of early pregnancy nausea; or my experiments with the rebozo when she was still very tiny, taking her on the metro and being severely admonished by the woman sitting next to me who, when I unwrapped the poor thing because the wagon was quite stuffy, told me I should never let my baby's face be seen by strangers because someone would give her the evil eye...

I remember the feel of her weight lying against my chest and stomach as I walked everywhere with her in the "kanguru" my sister-in-law gave me after her son outgrew it. Wherever we went, people would smile at us and want to get a better look at those extraordinary blue eyes that sparkled and danced as she moved her head about checking out her surroundings.

Oh yes, and the rocking chair... How can I ever forget my mother's amazed burst of laughter when she observed her granddaughter rocking in her chair, making it move with every vigorous push of her little foot against the floor, until she had rocked her way accross the kitchen floor... and 'singing' all the way! (I had taken 6-month-old Fned on a trip to my other sister's wedding and we were staying at my parent's house).

Millions of these kinds of memories crowd through my mind, so I move to the ones of Fned tying her shoes at age 2! What child does that? And I was witness to the fact! How I remember sitting nearby waiting for that final loop to come through the hole and the bow to be made! She had tried for days and it was sheer torture to sit by and watch, but the day she did it WOW!!!

We won't go into the memories of 'The Thumb' except to acknowledge that yes, Fned was a passionate thumbsucker who did not take kindly to the idea of giving up the nasty habit! No Barbie doll could bribe that kid (I tried that tactic because it worked for my mom on me!)

But what about her artwork, all those lovely lovely pictures she drew before and all through her first school years.

Then there was the year we went to live in the States and I hit all the thrift stores with my kids (there were 3 by then). Fned always picked out the most incredible dresses and when a dress costs 50 cents or a dollar (she was about 10 by then), you can afford to buy 3 or 4 or more at a time! Then, how she would change her clothes 5 times a day and dance around the house to songs like 'Tamlin' sung by Sandy Denny from my Fairport Convention album.

I see Fned during her obsession with Barbie and all those different houses we lived in where she and her new friends (she always had friends in the hood and she was always the leader of the pack no matter what the ages were), would set out all their Barbies and accessories on the porch and dress and redress them for hours.

The years pass and I see her in Valladolid in the secondary school, where she began to branch out and become a real "teenager" who wanted to use make-up and polish her nails, and started to style her hair... the move back to Puebla and her continuing fascination with clothes and hair... her tremendous consternation at having to share a room with her 3-yr.-old sister (she was 14 going on 18 by then). Oh the high school years of going out "en bola" and convincing me she "had to" be allowed to come in at 4 a.m. when they went out dancing because that way, they could all share a taxi coming home and if she left earlier, she would have to go home alone... (she really knew how to argue her point by that time - I remember the first time one of her friends asked her to convince her parents to let her go out - and she did! After that, it became a common practice, to the point that some of the parents considered her their daughter's chaperone, while other parents rejected her attempts at all costs.)

Oh the France thing!!! How she knew by the time she was 15 that she was going to France somehow some way... so she looked for a High School that offered French as a pre-major... and from then on, that's what she was working towards. When she needed a scholarship, she went out and applied for it and all I had to do was sign the papers! When the opportunity at last came, she was ready for it!

I've skipped over so many key points, but I want to post this blog before the day is over, so I'll just add some key Fned phrases:
When the big earthquake of '85 hit, we were in the kitchen having breakfast. Car and I felt the tremors, looked at each other over Fned's head and said simultaneously: "it's an earthquake!" Fned (she was just turning 6) put down her fork and weighed the situation, observing our faces for a moment. Then she shook her head with a conspiratorial smile and said, "No it's not, you guys are moving the floor!"

One day out of the blue and then at regular intervals: "Mom, why can't I be an only child???" or a variation, "Why didn't you just have me?"

And when she came home from school early and saw the little pregnancy test tube and stand set up on the table (she was 14 and I was pregnant for the 5th time): "MAMÁ!!! NO WAY!"

Fned has been champion little mother since the time she was 6 and babysat for the first time, kitchen helper, bossy older sister, defender of kids' rights before autocratic adults, avid reader, lover of music and dance, school activist, event organizer,... her talents and accomplishments go on and on.

I guess what I'm trying to say, Fned, is that I am so grateful that I got to have you enter my life and enrich it so much these last 29 years. May I continue to be so blessed. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

This one's for Jim, a neighbor who understands and personifies the true meaning of the word!

Here's a story about Ed and Ida, some dear people who have always dedicated their lives to each other, their family, hard work, and harmony. Now they're retired, and though life in some ways is easier, in others, of course, it's more challenging than ever! Ed has some health issues which have forced him to modify his diet and take some meds, while Ida has gradually lost her hearing. Do they say, 'oh woe is me!' Not on your life! They always wake up ready for action, going walking in the morning, surfing the net and reading extensively, generally staying abreast of what's going on in the world, getting out and about with old friends, visiting with family whenever the opportunity presents itself. In fact, that's how the whole thing started!

There they were at a small dinner party, when Ed, who hadn't been feeling well the past few days but insisted on carrying on with the plan, suddenly collapsed and had to be taken to the nearest hospital by ambulance. Ida, like the true trouper she always is, didn't want to alarm her kids, who live far away, and handled everything herself, despite her hearing problem. I should explain that Ida has a cochlear implant which is an incredible computerized device that allows her to hear to a certain extent. Face-to-face one-on-one conversations are pretty easy, although she describes the voice tones she 'hears' as "Mickey Mouse-ish". (You've got to hand it to her - her sense of humor is always intact!)

So that night, in the emergency room, I can only imagine what it must have been like having to sort through all the administrative process, consultations with doctors, concern for her husband, plus the fact that the hospital was not their usual medical facility, as he was taken not to their close-to-home hospital but to the hospital nearest the restaurant. There followed 3 days of tests and care which she continued to brave out alone with Ed. Eventually she did call one of her daughters, who eventually told the others, but basically, Ed and Ida were alone inside the whole Hospital Machine. When at last he was discharged, she brought him home, only to have him develop a fever the next day. He got worse, so she decided to take him to the hospital - this time their hospital, close to home - but when she went to start up the car, she discovered that one of the tires was flat! This was the crucial moment. This couple had already been subjected to an intense combination of medical, emotional, and logistic complications, not to mention the sheer exhaustion of coping with such; were they now to be thwarted by a flat tire!!

And that was when Jim stepped in! Jim is their neighbor, a younger man, who lives for adventure it seems - I hear he is about to go on an African safari! This wonderful guy first took the initiative with Ed and Ida a few years ago when he came outside and saw Ed trying to start up his lawnmower. It was a hot day - though still early - and Jim decided that Ed should allow him to mow the older man's lawn. He convinced Ed by making a deal with him that he would gladly mow Ed's lawn now if Ed would then lend him his power mower - one of those that you ride - to mow his own. This was truly an honorable way for Jim to show respect for Ed while also helping him out immensely. Since then, Jim has helped them on other occasions with the heavier physical chores of life in the suburbs, always taking the iniciative, always with respect, always with great care, humor and affection.

So that evening (it was getting past dusk now), when Ida was trying to stay calm and decide what to do, Jim happened to come out of his house and saw her sitting in the car with the flat tire. He approached, and upon discovering what had happened with Ed, once again this marvelous neighbor just stepped in and provided the perfect solution. He told Ida straight away that she was not to worry; he would take the couple to the hospital, let them off and return later for Ida when she was ready. Since it was going to be late and neither Ed nor Ida drive at night unless it's absolutely necessary, this was a big relief for Ida. Not only did she get Ed installed, talk to the doctors and nurses, and find out what would be done the next day, but she was also escorted home by Jim, who made sure she got in okay (you know how it is to come home at night to an empty house!). The next day, he had her tire fixed and her car ready for her by the time she was ready to go to the hospital to visit Ed.

Jim, this one's for you - a great neighbor who is also lucky enough to have such great neighbors as Ed and Ida, who are two of the most wonderful people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing! I know why they got you for their neighbor, Jim. It's the way of the universe. The more you give, the more you receive!

P.S. Just to end the story of Ed's odyssey (I should have given more mention to him, as he was the one we were all so concerned about in the first place, but that will have to be in another entry), let me just say that I talked to him today and his voice sounded good and chipper! He says he's going home today!

Back to work - Lots of Input, but no Tomatoes

Okay, it's been a week since I've been back at work, and several interesting ideas have come up, but no tomatoes yet...

On the work front, just as I started considering working less, I got an offer to work more! Isn't that always the case?? And it was a good offer, and of course, I said okay (I'm not known for refusing work), and it turned out to be a really enlightening course, on so many levels! This was an intensive (total immersion) course, where one person wanted to perfect her English as quickly as possible.

In this type of course, the student and teacher are together for 10 hours a day for 5 days. Sometimes, we split up the time a bit to give the student some breathing room and have the benefit of two different teachers and teaching styles... but it still means A LOT of time one-on-one for both teacher(s) and student.

This particular student is extremely interesting as a person. She's affable, easy to get to know, experienced in her work area and also in life, and has a deep determination to improve her English. I brought tons of material to use, but a great portion of our time the first 3 days (we will have 2 more days next week) was spent in talking - her talking. Whatever the question was, she always provided an extensive, well-thought-out answer (though limited in terms of vocabulary and structural possibilities), showing tremendous perception, humor, and analysis.

At the end of our last session, I said, "Okay, Gina, we've covered a lot of ground today, but for this last hour, I'll give you the chance to choose: we can go over the last card trick you did, we can finish the phone call listening exercise, or we can do a reading about friendship, in relation to an idea we talked about yesterday. Which do you want to do?"

She was holding the deck of cards at the time, so I thought she'd opted for that alternative - she had learned and perfected a magic card trick, but I had promised her one more and then we'd gotten off on a tangent which led us into an hour-long discussion - but instead she said she preferred the reading. So I handed her the 3 pages of one of Fned's blogs about friendship.

I really like Fned's blogstyle because of the natural way it flows and her innate humor in describing events. I have used a lot of her entries in my classes and the more advanced students find them highly amusing and informative.

The intermediate students, however, usually have to struggle to get through them, and I never understood exactly why, until yesterday after Gina had read the text (she's an intermediate student). She really had to struggle - partly because I had her read out loud and pronunciation is one of her weak points, but also because the sentences were long and winding, and I realized that even though the words were pretty much within her vocabulary range, the length of the sentences, and their inner clauses and such, were difficult for her to sort out (there were also some spelling mistakes that I forgot to correct before printing!!).

So I tried to take it slowly with her, since we had a whole hour left - but I saw too late that the length of the reading had had an adverse effect on her. She immediately dived in, hoping to read through hurriedly. As she advanced and started to get bogged down, I tried to gently stop her along the way to ask about certain words, phrases, or her general comprehension thus far, and I saw that she was getting the idea, but missing the subtleties. At the time, I thought it was sad that she didn't seem to realize that the whole idea of this exercise was to enjoy and savor the natural style of the writer, the cadence of the text, and pick up some cues for her own English speaking style. I kept trying to direct her attention to these things, but when she finished, I didn't feel like she'd "gotten" it.

Since it was our last activity and I didn't want her to leave on that note, I said, "Okay, let me read it and you follow with your eyes." Then I started reading, slowly, but with the right intonation and pauses, trying to show how naturally and beautifully descriptive it is, and hoping she would understand the whole tone of the text in a deeper way. I only read about halfway through, but I got the feeling that she wasn't really receptive, so I stopped and asked her if it had made any additional impression on her at all.

Her answer astounded me. She said, "you know, now I understand why our customers never understand us when we write to them. We think we have good English; my boss got an excellent score on the TOEIC exam; she speaks very good. I speak okay, but the Americans always write to us and say, 'I don't understand; can you explain, please?'. Now I see - we need to develop these kinds of structures!" (here, she taps the papers in her hand). I said, yes, I was glad she could see the structures that we had talked about in the last few days. I told her: that's the difference between people who speak English, and people who speak really good English. Then she summed it up by saying, "We need to explain more." I was glad she had come to that conclusion. I mean, that's the whole point of language - to be able to EXPLAIN YOURSELF!!! Right???

And by the way - guess what?? I just went to check the garden, and I think there are really really finally finally some tomato plants!!!! YEE-HA!!!

Who says vacation means a trip?

I cannot believe how wonderful it feels to be on vacation this time. I've always loved my vacations, and I suppose each time one starts, I feel pretty euphoric and I enjoy each one to the max and treasure the memory of it for a good month or so when I go back to work. But this vacation has been unique. AND THERE ARE STILL A FEW MORE DAYS TO GO!
It's the first vacation that I've had that I've spent exclusively w/Car - IN ALMOST 29 YEARS! Can you believe that? We've been together for 30, but after the first year, there were always kids between us. And I mean - BETWEEN us, AROUND us, BESIDE us, BEHIND us, AHEAD of us, ON TOP OF us... in short, everywhere! And I love my kids to death, I really do... but this vacation - WOW! I didn't know Car and I could just go back to being the people we were when we met, but essentially, that's what we've done! We just fit together naturally, and we can spend ALL DAY LONG in the house, just hanging out, or outside, just hanging out... and we have REAL CONVERSATIONS that don't turn into arguments (though we've had a couple of those too, but they ended pretty fast), and when we sit down to eat together, there's a bottle of wine - every day!! - and something delicious that we made together...
I'm still marvelling over this fantabulous vacation we are having!
I think I'm going to really try to cut down on my work schedule come September. Anyone who knows me knows that I really love my work too! But this - being at home and free from obligations - is just... well, there's simply no comparison!!!!