Nothing to bitch about

Today I was writing an e-mail to a dear friend - a woman who went through a total transition in her life during the time I knew her here, breaking up her long, seemingly happy marriage because she realized it wasn't what she thought it was, going through hell for awhile, but keeping at it, and finally deciding to go back to the US and live on her own. We've been in touch over the years since she left, and we still have this instant rapport - you know, the kind of relationship you have with your sibs, where even if you haven't seen each other in ages, you can still instantly find that place you always had with each other. She went on to get her life totally together and recently married again! I couldn't be at the wedding now that we're thousands of miles apart, but here's the thing: as I wrote the e-mail, I realized that I was going on and on about the goings-on in my neck of the woods, without getting into deeper issues of historical, political, scientific, ecological or any other type of value. As I read over my e-mail, I realized that it sounded very me-me-ME. Whimsical, optimistic, matter-of-fact, day-to-day stuff. No bitching about anything earthshaking. Was there nothing I needed to vent about on another level? She's a good friend! She'll listen!! Have I really nothing to bitch about on any level?

That can't be true!!! There must be something I feel passionate about and in fact there are many things I do have deep convictions about. But writing about them in an e-mail??? ¡¡Qué flojera!!! (makes me tired just to think about it).

HOWEVER, a blog is the place for this kind of writing! And that's exactly what I added at the end of my e-mail, in apology for not writing something deeper in the e-mail. So, since I virtually told her to take a look at my blog if she wanted to see my thoughts on deeper issues, I'd better start posting such things... along with the tomato updates of course.

And if anyone reading this has anything they think should be bitched about, leave a comment here.

Okay then, so let's talk about bitching! My feeling here is that: If you've gotta bitch, bitch to the right person(s). I truly believe that there is no reason to bitch to anyone about anything they are not directly involved with. If I have a problem with someone or some situation, I will look for the person(s) who can do something about it. I will then bitch at great length (if need be) until I've gotten my point across. Some examples:

1) I bitch to the bagpackers at the supermarkets if they start putting things in bags when it's unnecessary (some things come in their own bag!) or when they put too few things in one bag and then start to fill another one. I try to arrive at the supermarket toting my own bag but it doesn't always work out that I have one on hand when I'm in the vicinity and we need things from there. In cases where a bagger starts overdoing it, I bitch, apologize for bitching, and then smile encouragingly as I ask them to see that they actually have the power to make a difference in conserving the environment.

2) I bitch to anyone who tries to sell me anything in styrofoam. I tell them it's utterly unnecessary and should be on its way out of our universe. If they don't seem to care, I ask to talk to their boss and tell that person. I bitch to my kids' teachers when they want the kids to do projects involving styrofoam. I ask my kids to bitch to their teachers and the school authorities about that, about using too much printer ink for projects they have to turn in, about not letting the kids use recycled paper for their printed projects, etc. etc. And when I go to the meetings, either at work or at my kids' schools, I make my point on these kinds of issues.

3) I bitch to authorities by way of letters (or e-mail). The last time I did this was a few months ago, when the university tried to charge me a huge fee simply for being a foreigner. They didn't care that I actually live and have residency in this country. I wrote the best letter I could, did about 3 revisions, read it to a few people and asked for their comments, made more revisions, and finally sent it. My letter was read and answered: my proposal (to be charged as a Mexican) was accepted, which of course gave me a lovely sense of satisfaction, though you shouldn't think for a minute that I get such positive results every time I write a letter of protest or complaint!

4) I bitch to each of my kids INDIVIDUALLY about their INDIVIDUAL shortcomings, when that's how it is; of course, if they all have the same shortcoming, I bitch to them as a group!

5) I bitch to myself the most of all!!!! I bitch about all the things I keep saying I'm going to do and then don't do.

So where does it get me- all this bitching?

It gets me here... keying about it in my blog.